Season One

1x12 Faith

• Sam is intent on using whatever supernatural means he can find to save Dean’s life. this parallels to sue ann binding a reaper in order to save her husband’s life
  • Sam “to cross a line like that, a preacher’s wife. black magic. murder. evil” Dean “desperate. her husband was dying, she didn’t have anything to save him”
  • Sam “do we really have to look this one in the mouth? why can’t we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?”
  • Dean “i’m gonna die. and you can’t stop it” Sam “watch me”
  • Sam “the doctors say there’s nothing they can do. but, uh, they don’t know the things we know, right? so don’t worry, ‘cause i’m, uh... gonna do whatever it takes to get him better”

• roy le grange is a faith healer who believes that god is working through him
  • roy repeats an echo of lori’s morality in 1.07 hook man: “god rewards the good and punishes the corrupt”
• the theme of christianity returns in this episode: Sam suggests that Dean should have more faith
  • Dean has resigned himself to his death, while Sam believes there’s a way to save him. they’re defined by their opposing opinions on faith: namely, Sam has faith and Dean has none
  • Dean says has has faith “in reality, knowing what’s really going on.” this returns in 2.13 houses of the holy: Dean only believes what he can see
  • to contrast Sam accusing Dean of having “blind faith” in John in 1.11 scarecrow, Sam now is showing signs of blind faith in god
    • Sam “do we really have to look this one in the mouth? why can’t we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?”
    • at the end of the episode, Dean says “it must be rough... to believe in something so much and have it disappoint you like that.”
      • compares to 1.04 phantom traveler through 1.06 skin, which reveals Dean’s feelings of abandonment and betrayal by John
      • John is Dean’s god

• Dean asks why he was chosen, and roy responds that Dean has “a job to do”—at this point, likely referring to saving or killing Sam
  • but in the larger scheme of kripke era, retroactively refers to him being michael’s vessel
  • Dean is said to be chosen by god in this episode, which is the stark contrast to Sam, who was not chosen by god but by the devil
• mrs. le grange is killing people based on her sense of morality: she chooses the “good” people to live and the “bad” people to die, to make a better world
  • her morality is rooted in evangelical, conservative christianity. compare to 1.07 hook man
• mrs. rourke asks why Dean deserves to live more than her daughter
  • Dean feels guilty for being alive
  • this begins Dean’s fraught relationship with people sacrificing themselves for him. the roots are planted for when John exchanges his life for Dean’s in 2.01 in my time of dying, for Dean’s anger at John throughout season 2, and for him selling his soul to save Sam—to rectify things, because Dean should be dead. what’s dead should stay dead
• Dean feels guilty that marshall hall died because of him
  • Sam responds that “somebody else would have died anyway, and someone else would have been healed”
• Dean wants to kill roy to stop him, but Sam thinks killing humans will make them monstrous
  • this is 3 episodes before their first human enemy
  • again the idea that hunting makes someone the Same as a monster is revisited
• Dean has to choose between layla, who he’s grown fond of, and the innocent. he’s given a trolley problem and chooses the innocent due to his belief in order: again, what’s dead should stay dead. probably influenced by his guilt at being alive when he should be dead
• despite feeling guilty about letting an innocent man die to save Dean, when Sam is given the opportunity to redeem himself by letting Dean die to save layla’s life, he still chooses Dean

1x13 Route 666

• cyrus dorian targeted black people while he was alive, and since black men killed him (in self defense) he’s targeting those black men now in death

• Sam and Dean both dated while Same was at college, and they both lost their girlfriends and don’t want to talk about it because the loss was painful
• both losses were due to hunting
  • similar to how Dean is adamant that having connections with people will only lead to them getting hurt in 1.06 skin

1x14 Nightmare

• Sam’s visions become painful to receive when he’s having them awake. he says outright that the premonitions are scaring him, urging Dean to be freaked out too
  • Sam “both our families are cursed”
    • Sam refers to his and max’s families as cursed, and the tie they share is the demon blood inside them. Azazel literally cursed them through a demon deal made by their parents
• Dean is repressing his anxiety toward Sam’s developing powers, deflecting from his feelings using humor and outright lying in order to reassure Sam. he’s trying to believe it’s fine, but he’s not sure. compare to season 2, where John tells Dean he has to save Sam or kill him. compare to John’s journal, which notes that he doesn’t think Sam is quite right. both want to believe Sam can be saved, but the anxiety is still present
  • the powers cannot be a good thing because they’re a curse given to the special children by a demon

• Dean claims that max is a monster for using his powers to kill people. this recalls 1.12 faith, where Dean was prepared to kill roy le grange for allegedly using his (his wife’s) bond with a reaper to kill immoral people
  • Sam in the Sam episode claims that killing humans will turn them into monsters
  • Dean views all killers as monsters regardless of species; Sam views humans as human regardless of their actions
  • Dean insists that max and Sam are nothing alike because max is a monster and Sam is not; Sam says they’re similar because they both have psychic powers
    • Dean’s view of monstrosity is black and white, and Sam’s is gray
    • Dean is worried that Sam might view himself as a monster, and Dean himself can’t handle thinking of Sam as a monster. he clings to his polarized understanding of the world to preserve his view of Sam as good
• Sam is able to use telekinesis after having a vision of Dean dying
  • \2.21 all hell breaks loose part 1 reveals that accepting the powers as part of you allows them to grow and develop. this means that Sam momentarily embraced his powers which allowed them to develop, rather than this being something that happened to him
  • the only instance of Sam using telekinesis is in this episode, when Dean’s life is in danger. this implies that Sam is willing to embrace his powers to save Dean’s life, but not in any other circumstance. he’s afraid of the powers, but he’ll accept them if it means saving Dean
    • he’ll turn himself into a monster to protect his brother
    • compare to season 4, where he drinks demon blood at ruby’s request with the intention of getting strong enough to save Dean from hell
    • compare to 3.11 mystery spot, where Sam is willing to kill innocent people to bring Dean back to life
    • compare to 3.15 time is on my side, where Sam begs Dean to become an organ-harvesting zombie with him to prevent him from dying, which would necessarily involve killing innocent people to steal their organs
    • compare to 1.12 faith, where Sam is given the choice between saving Dean’s life and saving layla’s and he chooses Dean’s life, despite Dean feeling that layla should have lived instead
• Sam claims that max is further along than Sam is, regarding their psychic powers. this could also relate to how max has become angrier, more violent, and more monstrous than Sam. the development of the psychic powers becomes an analogy for becoming more of a monster, and max is “further along” than Sam is in that regard, too

• max is killing his entire family for their involvement in his abuse
• based on inferences from 1.07 hook man, Sam either secretly or subconsciously wants John to be punished for his abusive treatment of his kids, and for his continued neglect and abandonment
  • this is also revisited in 1.10 asylum when Sam does try to kill Dean, his anger at John displaced onto him and Dean’s general attitude in trying to take control in John’s absence
    • “you hate me that much? you think you could kill your own brother?”
    • this event could be a reason Dean is so adamant that Sam and max are nothing alike; he still feels like Sam resents him, so he’s trying to convince himself that Sam wouldn’t want to kill him, clinging to whatever he has left
  • Sam sympathizes with max for killing his family to take revenge for his abuse. this implies that Sam believes it’s okay (or at least understandable) to seek revenge on abusive people in your life. again, 1.07 hook man and 1.10 asylum parallels here
• Dean is very strict in his morals: it’s evil to kill your own family, no matter the circumstances
  • Sam and Dean’s opinions on this matter flip completely in season 2: 4.11 family remains shows Sam being anti-familicide no matter the circumstances, whereas Dean is more understanding to revenge for personal abuse

• max is angry at and afraid of the adults in his life because of his abuse. he wants revenge on them
• Sam tries to convince max it’s not worth it, because the killing won’t stop, it can never stop
  • “the nightmares won’t end, max. not like this. it’s just more pain. and it makes you as bad as them”
  • compare to 1.10 asylum which implies Sam has to let go of his anger in order to resolve his issues. max is unable to let go of his anger, and so Sam is seeing what he could become if he doesn’t
• the cycle of abuse perpetuates itself in revenge. so long as the abused harbor hatred for their abuser, the abuse must be perpetuated. the only way to end the cycle is by letting go
  • Sam “you gotta let us go, max. you gotta let your stepmother go”
  • max is unable to let go. this results in tragedy. if Sam lets go of his anger toward John, he can avoid becoming a “monster” like max
    • compare to 1.08 bugs where Sam learns that dad still cares about him, which makes him remorseful. he wants to apologize for what he said before leaving home
    • max lives in a family without love. Sam lives in a family with love. crucial difference
      • max “when my dad used to look at me, there was hate in his eyes. do you know what that feels like?” Sam “no”
• at the end of the episode, Sam is grateful for how John raised them compared to the alternative revealed by max. he’s come to believe they were raised well all things considered
  • he’s letting go of his anger and returning to the family

1x15 The Benders

• a parallel is drawn between the benders and the Winchesters: they’re both families of hunters, and in addition the father asks Dean if he’s ever killed anybody before, which invites connections to be made between them
  • the family consists of a single father and his children. the mother is dead. with the exception of missy, the family composition is the Same as the Winchesters: a father, a dead mother, and two adult sons
    • the two sons are the ones who engage the most in hunting and are the only ones shown hunting the humans. missy stays back and is kept away from the physical hunts
    • a tenuous parallel could retroactively be drawn between missy and adam, as both the youngest children and the two kids who are kept away from the hunting life
  • Dean suggests that the father engaged in sibling incest, saying it’s not nice to marry your sister
    • the parallel between the families suggests there’s something incestuous about the Winchesters
• jenkins “they’re a bunch of psycho hillbilly rednecks... looking for love in all the wrong places.”
  • jenkins is implying gang rape, but combining this statement with redneck stereotypes also stands to imply incest: both rape and incest being the ultimate taboo forms of love. Dean later strengthens this connection by implying that daddy bender “married” his sister
  • the benders are connected to incest through their isolated and unorthodox lifestyle. because they engage in social taboos (hunting humans), they can’t easily acculturate “outsiders” into their family without posing a risk to their safety and lifestyle. this naturally leaves incest as the only viable, safe option for them to continue their family line
    • the Winchesters are also chronically isolated from the world, both by living as homeless pariahs separated from society (relationships are liabilities—1.06 skin; discussing hunting with outsiders is a taboo—1.01 pilot, 1.13 route 666), and by their isolation from other hunters (Sam and Dean are unaware of harvelle’s roadhouse—2.02 everybody loves a clown; John did not tell Sam and Dean about his connections or even expose them to hunter society—2.03 bloodlust)
    • both the benders and the Winchesters are unorthodox, unethical hunters who are likened to monsters and have become separated and isolated from society. their inability and resistance to forming meaningful relationships outside of the family and codependent intra-family dynamics are paralleled through the narrative, and thus commentary about the incestuous nature of the benders therefore reflects back onto the Winchesters and calls their dynamics into question

• see: the incest section. the episode goes pretty far to draw connections between the Winchesters and the benders
• daddy bender “you ever killed before?”
  • daddy bender is trying to draw a connection between them, elicit empathy from Dean. Dean tries to distance himself by saying “it depends,” but there’s a physical proximity between the two of them that suggests they both know he’s lying
  • “i’ve hunted all my life, just like my father and his before him” this is a family business, and the killing is generational. it’s passed down from father to son, just like hunting was passed down to Dean from his father—just like mary is from a family of hunters, and just like John himself is a men of letters legacy. Dean, too, has hunted all his life—he learned to shoot at 6 years old and has been learning the ropes since
  • “holding their life in your hands... seeing the fear in their eyes... makes you feel powerful alive” Dean too finds some joy in killing (2.03 bloodlust) and is naturally in his element when he’s hunting. “hunting things” is part of his mantra, and it is notably the first of the three parts
  • the benders give their victims weapons so they have a “fighting chance,” similar to how all of the monsters Sam and Dean face are naturally equipped with their own biological weapons they’ve evolved to prey on humans

• kathleen “it was really hard not knowing what happened to [my brother]. i thought it would be easier knowing the truth... but it isn’t, really”
• this episode is four episodes after 1.11 scarecrow, where John reveals that it was a demon that killed mary and where Sam tries to run off to california to join the hunt for him (Azazel)
• kathleen compromises her morals and duty to get revenge for her brother, but in the end it changed nothing. compare this to 1.14 nightmare when Sam tells max that killing his family won’t change anything
  • yet, Sam is driven to find and kill Azazel while Dean is not. Dean, like kathleen, has realized that revenge is pointless and won’t have positive change; Sam has yet to internalize that
• similar to 1.11 scarecrow, the choice Sam makes runs directly contrary to the moral of the episode: revenge is meaningless, but Sam is still determined to pursue his revenge

• the “monsters” this episode are human hunters. it brings the subtext that has existed in past episodes like 1.02 wendigo and 1.07 hook man and calls it to the forefront of the episode. there is no monster this time; there are only humans, and the humans are hunters just like Sam and Dean are. the evil and monstrous is born from violence
• the Winchesters are likened to the benders through their similarities, which implies that what Sam and Dean are doing by hunting monsters is similar in nature to the benders hunting humans. if one is unethical, the other is implied to also be unethical
• Dean resists taking on this case, not believing it’s a real hunt. this is the third time Dean has resisted a case—whenever he tries to avoid a case, it reveals one of his core fears. this time, it seems to be about Sam’s developing psychic powers (see 1.14 nightmare). when Sam is hurt or in danger, Dean tries to take a break from hunting. this could be early signs of this behavior pattern developing—this could also mean that Dean considers hunting to be a dangerous use of their time, and that pursuing hunts could sway Sam into doing evil with his powers
  • hunters are therefore dangerous and can push Sam over the edge into monstrous, like max
  • first time was 1.06 skin
    • he doesn’t want to encourage Sam to have relationships outside of hunting
    • Dean is jealous of Sam for having a life outside of his family, and that he had to give everything up while Sam pursued a healthier life. this ties into his fear of abandonment, because without Sam Dean has nothing, and Sam is clinging to his life outside of him
  • second time was 1.09 home
    • he doesn’t want to return to lawrence—he swore to himself that he would never go back
    • he’s afraid of facing his past and the pain of grief and loss from mary’s death, and he’s running from that past and in turn himself—especially the life he could have lived had mary not died
  • Dean “with [monsters], there’s rules, patterns. but people are just crazy”
    • this quote calls into question what monsters actually are and what falls into the category of monstrosity. are Sam and Dean monsters or people? considering the episodes where hunting is paralleled with monstrosity (1.02 wendigo, 1.07 hook man, 1.12 faith, 1.14 nightmare)
    • the benders do have a pattern: they only kidnap two people a year to fly under the radar, and they have a sort of ritual they follow to avoid attention from authorities and make their hunts fun
    • Sam and Dean also follow patterns:
      • metatextually, the episodic structure of episodes requires the existence of a pattern, where every episode involves a hunt and every hunt involves certain steps followed with little variation
      • vocationally, they also follow certain patterns and have certain roles in their investigations
      • socially and psychologically, they also struggle to break free of the emotional patterns they’ve internalized: they’re pathologically elusive, secretive, manipulative, and clingy, and therefore predictable
      • the abuse they suffered from John’s parenting shaped them both into hunters and into creatures of habit—and thus, following this line of thought, John turned them into monsters

• Sam is very eager to work the case, even pushing it harder where Dean would rather take his time and relax and to his own detriment. this could mean that Sam is trying to do good deeds to avoid becoming like max. could be a result of his internalized family values and also him trying to emulate Dean—Dean is a symbol of “good” in Sam’s mind, or at least someone to aspire to (compare 3.07 “i’ve been looking up to you since i was four, Dean. studying you, trying to be just like my big brother”)
  • Dean’s reverse development: Dean kills an innocent man possessed by a demon in 1.22 devil’s trap, compared to 1.02 wendigo and Dean’s emphasis on “saving people” which drives Sam’s development across season 1
  • this development runs parallel to Sam’s forgiveness of John and his return to family loyalty. it supports the idea that acts of good deeds are synonymous with being a good person within the Winchester system of values
• Dean “i’m bringing him back”
  • this episode takes place three episodes after 1.12 faith—where Sam uses unethical and obsessive means to keep Dean alive—and three before 1.18 something wicked—where Dean reveals that he has spent his life trying to pay penance for almost getting Sam killed by the shtriga. it then connects Sam’s unhinged proxy murder of Dean’s first victim and layla to Dean’s willingness to do whatever he needs to “bring [Sam] back.” and this naturally culminates in him selling his soul for Sam’s life, a perfect retribution for his crime in letting the shtriga attack Sam: it should have been Dean who got hurt and killed, and combining these three episodes does seem to foreshadow what Dean will be willing to do in 2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two
• when Dean is going off to find the key to free Sam, Sam calls Dean back to him just to tell him to be careful. this parallels 1.04 phantom traveler when Sam calls Dean back to ensure that Dean is prepared to confront a demon. in both cases, he’s deliberately using his words in an attempt to support Dean’s more active role in the hunt. this is important to him: he wants to be useful to his family and he wants to be included in the hunt in whatever way he can be. so where he can’t help physically, he resorts to more passive engagement—verbal assistance. in this way, he can tell himself he’s part of the hunt and not being excluded because he was able to help Dean. in this case, because he’s literally trapped, the only thing he can do is remind Dean to be safe
• Dean chooses for Sam to be the one hunted because he knows that Sam will escape. he has unwavering trust in Sam’s competence and understands his strengths and limitations, and he views Sam as an equal in hunting
• Sam doesn’t kill any of the benders. this seems to be a follow-up from 1.14 nightmare when he said it’s wrong to kill humans. to stretch the continuity, Dean threatens to kill the family for hurting Sam: once again, Sam refuses to see humans as monsters, and Dean views monstrosity based on their actions and behaviors

1x16 Shadow

• Sam suspects something from his encounter with Meg; his questioning is aggressive and pointed. he doesn’t trust the coincidence that Meg just happened to show up at the Same time he was in chicago. Dean, on the other hand, is willing to believe it and actively disbelieves Sam’s skepticism. this is largely due to his jealousy and insecurity toward Sam’s relationship with Meg and his fear of abandonment
  • Dean overcompensates for his jealousy by making invasive, sexual comments about Sam and Meg; he can’t fathom Sam paying attention to anyone over him if he’s not sexually interested in them. this implies that Dean wants to satisfy all of Sam’s needs, and only begrudgingly concedes to sexual gratification—the jealousy, however, indicates that Dean does (subconsciously) want to satisfy Sam sexually as well
  • Dean “Sammy’s got a thing for the bad girl”
    • compare this to madison (2.17 heart) and ruby. the running theme of Sam falling for monsters indicates his draw to his own fate as a monster. the path to his destiny is alluring and freeing, and he wants to pursue it: only Dean’s domination as his one true relationship can keep him from going down that path
  • when they discover Meg is evil, they have a conversation about what will happen after they avenge mary and jessica: Sam begins fantasizing about going back to school, “being a person again.” in other words, leaving Dean
    • Meg becomes intrinsically linked to the idea of Sam abandoning Dean—initially the assumption was that Sam would leave Dean (emotionally) in order to pursue a sexual relationshi with her, but now she represents a much more literal abandonment, in that her death will lead to Sam truly, physically leaving Dean to go back to college. Meg becomes the manifestation of Dean’s fears
      • sex is used symbolically: sex is the symbol that personifies Meg as a threat, that threat being Sam leaving. as a result, killing Meg is narratively the Same thing as fucking Meg because they both have the Same outcome of Dean’s isolation. violence is sex, killing is sex. both are represented by penetration and both violence and sex are connected to defilement and intimacy. Meg masters represents all of this: she is defiling Sam by leading him down his destined path, by getting intimate with him. killing her and fucking her realize Dean’s fears equally
      • in the end, Sam is the one who “kills” Meg, thus fulfilling Dean’s prophecy that Sam wants to fuck her
    • if killing is equal to sex, then “if i were you i’d kill him” takes on a new meaning: if Meg is Sam, then Sam should fuck his brother
  • Dean “your girlfriend is a bitch”
    • Dean still refers to Meg using romantic and sexual language even after they figure out she’s evil. this strengthens the connection between sex, violence, and abandonment
• Meg gets physically close and intimate with Dean while threatening him. if Meg is Sam, then Meg is revealing Sam’s id through her violent sexuality
  • “if i were you i’d kill him” returns: Meg combines violence and intimacy and sex explicitly here, and the implication remains that violence is sexual and Sam should fuck his brother
• Meg “i’m doing this for the Same reason you do what you do: loyalty, love”
  • Meg is drawing direct parallels between her and Sam, stating that what Sam himself is doing here is for loyalty and love: but while Meg is talking about mary and jessica, the actual meaning in the context of the seaon assigns that loyalty and love to Dean instead
    • Sam returns to the family on Dean’s behalf, only caving into what his family wants from him when Dean says he wants Sam specifically. it’s important to Sam that he gets Dean’s approval and be wanted by him over other alternatives
    • at this point in the season, Sam is no longer actively hunting for Azazel at Dean and John’s request. he wants to avenge mary and jessica, but he’s currently not doing that. what he’s doing is instead hunting small-scale with Dean. and he’s doing that because Dean wants him to. therefore, his loyalty is to Dean, and thus is love is for Dean as well
  • “like the love you have for mommy. and jess”
    • the “and” blurs the lines between familial and romantic love and therefore implies incest. Sam is acting (hunting) out of love for Dean—this love is, according to Meg, like his love for mary (familial) and his love for jessica (romantic)
    • Meg’s loyalty is to her father, as seen in 1.11 scarecrow. she is describing her love for her father the Same way as she’s describing Sam’s love for his brother: as incestuous, ambiguously romantic and familial both. Meg therefore comes to also represent an incestuous family dynamic just like Azazel, who has been corrupting the Winchester family through incest since his initial kiss with mary. the father-daughter incest parallels the incestuous implications within the Winchester family. Dean is jess, Sam junts for Dean, Sam’s love is for Dean, and that love is like his love for jess
      • if Meg is Sam, this implies that Sam desires an incestuous family structure
• Meg calls Sam “Sammy” while talking dirty to him and touching him sexually. “Sammy” takes on an intimate and sexual connotation. see 2.03 bloodlust, where Sam insists that Dean has the exclusive right to call him Sammy
  • sex is equated to violence again through her literal sexual assault of Sam. intimacy is achieved through violence. Dean continues to tease Sam by likening their relationship to something sexual, supporting this connection

• Dean is jealous of Meg and dislikes that Sam ignored him to go talk to her. Meg similarly dislikes Dean and makes an attempt to drive a wedge between them (see 1.11 scarecrow, her trying to separate Sam and Dean)
  • Meg “the way he treats you... if it were me i’d kill him”
    • this is the first indication of their mythological roles as cain and abel: the brothers are destined to kill each other
• Dean “i don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam”
  • Dean voices the fears that have been simmering since Meg appeared. this episode implies that Dean doesn’t actually want to find Azazel and get his revenge, which is later confirmed in 1.21 salvation, because it means Sam will leave him.
• Sam “things will never be the way they were before” Dean “could be” Sam “i don’t want them to be”
  • Sam is verbally abandoning Dean, thus confirming his fears. this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the situation: Dean interprets this as Sam rejecting his family, but what Sam is actually rejecting is a return to the origin, the status quo
    • Sam acknowledges that “we are a family”
    • Sam is still having trouble returning to the family because he hasn’t achieved the relationship status he covets, so his journey is yet incomplete (see 1.01 pilot)
    • Sam needs to belong to the family, not just be a damsel in need of protecting. he wants to create a new family with Dean
  • Dean renegs on his stance in 1.11 scarecrow: he let Sam leave despite his fears, indicating his growth; now, his fears are consuming him and preventing him from achieving that growth. Sam pulled him back into orbit at the end of scarecrow, and now Dean doesn’t want to let go anymore
• Dean doesn’t have faith that John will meet them in chicago. it’s significant that Dean declares that John isn’t here because it reveals his developments: he’s internalized that John has betrayed and abandoned them
• Dean sends John away to protect him, while Sam is adamant on sticking together: Dean is turning away from the family even as Sam turns toward it. Dean has realized that family is their weakness, just like Meg predicted. compare 3.16 “you’re my weak spot, and i’m yours”
  • Dean’s reverse development: every time Dean chooses the healthier option of letting his family go their own way and be independent, Sam clings to his family and refuses to let go. both episodes that have featured this (1.11 scarecrow and this) have also featured Meg, representing the conflict between family and fate. their family is diametrically opposed to their fates, so their enemies will target them via their family members in order to steer Sam and Dean back onto their paths. family becomes dangerous and destructive, and is thus the “wrong” choice
  • this proves Sam does want the family even if he can’t admit it to himself—he knows logically he should stay away, be his own person, go back to stanford, but he desires the family even if it leads to ruin
    • Sam “i gotta be part of this fight”: he wants to be with them and belong to the family

• Dean confirms he and John never used costumes: therefore, 1.04 phantom traveler is the first time they dress up. Sam is the impetus for their costuming, and Dean shows resistance to it
• Sam found this case: a continuing theme from 1.14 nightmare and 1.15 the benders
• INVESTIGATION STYLES
  • Dean interviews girls: he’s charismatic with ladies, promiscuous and charming. compare to 1.11 scarecrow where he fails to get along with the men in burkitsville and wishes Sam were there to woo them instead. this implies Sam is better at connecting with men, or rather average people (not hot women)
  • Sam tends to do the research. it’s a non-physical, intellectual role that is first hinted at in 1.04 phantom traveler. their rigid roles are once again on display in this episode
  • Dean is the one who found the symbol among the blood splatters: he’s good at pattern recognition, which speaks to his practical experience with hunting (compare 1.15 the benders: “with our usual playmates, there’s patterns, rules”)
    • he hands off the symbol to Sam for him to reserch: he, on the other hand, is better at researching and uncovering meaning
    • Dean is the one who ends up finding the information about the symbol in the end, but it’s through calling another hunter and asking for his help: this suggests Dean is more connected to the hunter network than Sam is, or at least thinks to use them as a resource more often. again, Dean is depicted as resourceful and experienced with hunting, making up for whatever marginal lack in research skills (or perhaps just dislike of research) by utilizing everything else in his arsenal. Sam, by contrast, is more prone to brute-forcing the issue through research (see 1.07 hook man) and doesn’t think to use resources outside himself to get to the truth
• Meg threatens to kill them all, possibly to coerce Sam into using his powers and encouraging their growth, similar to Azazel hurting Dean in 1.22 devil’s trap to coax out his power
• when John is revealed it mirrors the framing in 1.01 pilot when mary checks on Sam, which draws a connection between John and Azazel

1x17 Hell House

• the tulpa is made real by people believing in it. at the end of the episode, Sam wonders how many monsters exist only because people believed in them
None.

Further Reading

• Dean says Sam is “afraid [he’ll] get nair in [his] shampoo... again” implying it’s happened before
• Sam found the case again, continuing the theme from 1.14 nightmare, 1.15 the benders, and 1.16 shadow
• hellhoundslair.com is a local site, meaning the ghostfacers are texan
  • compare jared and jensen, who are both from texas, and how the ghostfacers parody Sam and Dean
• Sam still thinks letting John go was a mistake: he wants to return to the family. right now, they’re hunting to pass the time, and Sam is taking charge
• Dean recognizes the tulpa sigil but Sam doesn’t: again there’s evidence of Dean’s experience and pattern recognition skills
• Dean “how come i’m not getting hooked up every christmas?” Sam “because you’re a bad person”
  • hunters = monsters: compare to 1.02 wendigo, 1.06 skin, 1.11 scarecrow, 1.12 faith, 1.15 the benders
• Sam uses manipulation tactics to persuade the ghostfacers to do what he wants: compare 9.22 stairway to heaven. while Dean resorts to aggression to dominate men, Sam chooses to use influence and subtle manipulation. this reflects their investigation in 1.16 shadow and Dean’s failed attempts at such in 1.11 scarecrow
• Dean “you’re too tense”
  • Sam has been unamused and on-edge the whole episode, possibly because of losing John, which indicates how much he values his family and wants them to be together

1x18 Something Wicked

• Dean lies to Sam about his previous encounter with the shtriga to save face: he doesn’t want Same to know it’s his fault the shtriga got away. his guilt makes him act defensive and secretive, probably a conditioned response to an emotionally unsafe environment: mistakes were punished and required atonement and self-flagellation growing up, which is shown later in the episode: “he never looked at me the Same way after that”
• michael blames himself for asher getting sick (he “forgot” to lock the window the night before), which parallels Dean blaming himself for nearly getting Sam killed 16-17 years ago. the sin in both their cases is negligence: michael didn’t lock up, Dean left Sam unattended
  • Dean tries to tell michael that it’s not his fault, but when michael tells him it’s his job to look after asher, Dean is struck speechless because he relates too well to michael’s position and therefore agrees with the points he’s making. compare this to 1.02 wendigo: Dean imprints strongly onto people who value a responsibility to their families
• Dean “he gave me an order and i didn’t listen, and i almost got you killed”
  • this is the thesis of Dean’s loyalty to John. he can’t trust himself to protect Sam and he’s been trying to atone for his mistake ever since—he’s given up on his individuality out of penance because he believes his desires are sinful and dangerous.
    • a core difference between Dean and Sam is that Sam believes there is evil inside of him, and Dean believes that he, himself, is an evil and therefore inextricable from himself. Sam can be saved, so he prays for salvation (2.13 houses of the holy) and tries to do good to prevent his evil destiny (2.11 playthings). Dean, on the other hand, has no illusions that he can be saved because there is nothing to be saved. he can only turn himself into a tool for others’ use and hope that his body can be used for good, because if he were to hold agency over himself then he would only cause harm
  • Sam tries to comfort Dean with logic, but Dean won’t let him. Sam has the privilege of reason because he’s responsible for no one but himself, but Dean still thinks of himself as Sam’s caretaker
  • hunting the shtriga is unfinished business for Dean because Dean can’t forgive himself: in a way, the shtriga is Dean’s Azazel, and Sam is the mary to Dean’s John
    • Dean is more invested in this hunt than he is Azazel, who he doesn’t actually have motivation to seek out because he’s intrinsically linked to his family leaving him
• Dean uses michael as bait, which means that he’s using the mirror of himself as bait. this is his redemption: Dean should have been the one who got hurt, not Sam, and now he’s “fixing” it. michael being bait for the shtriga allows Dean to be redeemed vicariously through him
• Sam learns why Dean has blind faith in John, which leads to the conclusion of an arc as Sam is brought closer to Dean. Sam learning the secrets that were kept from him causes him to forgive and accept his family wholeheartedly; the only thing he wants is inclusion in the family. they both close the gaps between them, leading closer to the climax of the finale where they choose codependency
• Dean shoots and kills the shtriga to save Sam. this mimics his first encounter with it, where he had been too scared to shoot it with his gun. this shows his growth and allows him to be redeemed via saving Sam’s life where he wasn’t able to before

• Dean “i’m the oldest, so i’m always right”
  • this mirrors Dean’s feelings about John and his blind loyalty toward him. it sets up the episode to be about Dean’s sense of loyalty. he’s internalized the idea that age = wisdom, since John is older and wiser than he is
• young Dean is exasperated and frustrated with his responsibility and thus defiant of John. he understands John’s rules, but he thinks they’re unnecessary. this extends to Sam as well: there’s a noticeable frustration and perhaps resentment toward Sam, and it seems more that Dean is caring for him out of obligation and not intrinsic desire
  • young Sam is also inconsiderate of Dean and rather self-centered (shown by his fickleness toward the dinner Dean prepared for him). he’s allowed to be, though, since he’s the youngest. this reveals that he was likely exempt from the consequences of childish selfishness, and that he was pampered despite Dean’s frustrations
• michael “you’d take care of your little brother? you’d do anything for him?” Dean “yeah, i would”
  • Sam gets to hear this exchange: it’s the ultimate declaration of devotion which drives Sam’s conclusion to choose Dean over his fate in the end
• Dean is good with kids, so he bonds easily with michael. compare 1.03 dead in the water, where he bonds with lucas. he tends to imprint on children, whereas Sam tends to imprint on teenagers (1.05 bloody mary, 1.08 bugs). this could be an indication of what points in their respective lives have shaped them most strongly: for Dean it’s his childhood becaused he never experienced one and because of the shtriga incident which led to his willful supression of self. for Sam, it’s his teenage years because it’s the fuel for his resentment toward John (he wasn’t even told about monsters until he was 9), and it was in his teens that he left home for college, “freezing” himself in time at least in relation to his family
  • Dean is good with kids because he raised one, and Sam is good with teens because he relates strongly to them (because he is one)
• Sam “[michael] will always know there are things out there in the dark [...] sometimes i wish i could have that kinda innocence” Dean “...i wish you could too”
  • Dean again parallels michael—neither of them get to be innocent, and they’re both kids who were forced to grow up too fast and face the harsh reality of life. this line implies that michael will keep monsters a secret from asher and allow him to stay innocent—this both saves asher from horrifying knowledge but simultaneously perpetuates the elusiveness and secrecy which caused Sam’s complexes
  • Sam is contradicting his core desire to belong to the family, possibly because he didn’t feel part of the family anyway so the knowledge of monsters didn’t bring him closer to them

• the little girl in the teaser prays to god: more christian motifs are being sprinkled into the show
• John directed Sam and Dean to take this job. Dean is hopeful that they’ll meet up with him there, but Sam is sarcastic and bitter about it. Dean’s hopes come off as overcompensating, since he was the one who told John to stay away from them in 1.16 shadow
• Sam almost getting killed is what causes John to abandon the hunt and let the shtriga get away. this shows that John values his family’s safety more than hunting and saving other people—compare 1.11 scarecrow and 1.12 faith: choosing family leads to destruction. this also shows evidence that family (relationships in general) is a liability in the hunting business: compare 1.06 skin

1x19 Provenance

• sarah and Dean are paralleled through the episode. sarah has a similar personality to Dean, and her character has a similar background as well: they both lost their mothers and this defines how they live their lives until they start spending time with Sam (again, in Dean’s case)
  • narratively, they’re both related to Sam’s curse: Sam is afraid of his family and his lovers dying because he got too close to them, which is why he can’t date anyone. mary and jessica are paralleled as one and the Same for Sam, and indeed likened to his lover—family is therefore explored through the lens of romance and sex, as Sam’s curse makes no distinction (and Azazel too is invested in injecting incest into the Winchester family; he is the origin of the curse)
  • through this parallel it indicates that Sam is destined to kill Dean, which sets up season 2 as Dean’s fate vs family conflict: kill Sam or save him. they are both fated to kill each other
• sarah and jess both are similar to Dean in personality: Sam is attracted to people resembling his brother
• Sam and sarah both haven’t been on a date in about a year. in Sam’s case, it’s because jessica died, and in sarah’s case, it’s because her mom died. here like in 1.16 shadow (“like the love you have for mommy. and jess”), “girlfriend” and “mom” are paralleled as viable reasons to stop dating. this has vague incestuous suggestions similar to those Meg insinuated in shadow
  • sarah says she’s trying to date again because loneliness isn’t “what [her mom] would have wanted for [her].” this sentiment is later echoed by Dean: “i would think that [jessica]’d want you to be happy.” again the mother and the girlfriend are paralleled
• sarah “maybe you’ll come back and see me.” compares to Dean wanting him and Sam to “be together again” (1.16 shadow) as well as Sam’s arc of returning home to his family
  • Sam replies “i will,” but he never does, at least not literally. but if sarah is Dean, then Sam does come back by returning to the family and choosing Dean once and for all
• Dean bites his lip when he sees Sam kissing sarah: “that’s my boy”: voyeuristic behavior

• Sam and Dean are wildly out of their element in this case, shown visibly by the state of the impala compared to the luxury cars, their choices of attire, and their general behavior
  • Sam appears to be wearing the suit he got in 1.04 phantom traveler to impersonate homeland security on his date with sarah: it shows that Sam can’t afford nice new clothes and has to work with what he has
  • they both have little knowledge of upper class etiquette: for example Dean is loud and abrasive at the auction house, and Sam fumbles with the wine list given to him on his date, uncomfortable with the environment
  • Sam is better than Dean at conforming to the demands of politesse, but under the slightest pressure that falls away and reveals his working-class background. Dean on the other hand doesn’t pretend or try to get in anyone’s good graces: he’s disdainful of the rich. Sam cares about putting on appearances and making an effort to blend in to the environment he’s in, where Dean is true to himself 100% of the time
  • they’re both surprised by the glitz and glam of their motel room, slightly put off by it

• Sam not getting laid is a major point of contention in this episode. Dean tries to hook him up with sarah. this is three episodes after 1.16 shadow, wherein Dean is aggressive and jealous about Sam’s perceived sexual pursuits. the difference between Meg and sarah here seems to be the Same difference between jessica and lori: Dean is an active participant in Sam’s relationship with lori and sarah, but he was excluded from his relationships with jessica and Meg. therefore, Dean is okay with Sam pursuing sarah
  • Dean “you can [get your own date], but you don’t”: Dean recognizes that Sam is desirable
• Sam “it’s like i’m cursed or something”
  • compare 1.07 hook man, 1.08 bugs, and 1.09 home: Sam is literally cursed by mary and by Azazel
  • Sam is still blaming himself for jessica’s death, and in this episode he finally confirms that he blames himself for mary’s death as well. he believes he shouldn’t pursue a relationship because the people around him get hurt
    • compare 1.11 scarecrow: returning to the family will invite ruin for outsiders. the family is therefore tenuously likened to Sam’s other strong relationships
  • Sam “if i let myself have feelings for anyone, [i’m scared they’ll get hurt]”
    • Dean is the one Sam is in a relationship with: because the prophecy dictates that anyone close to Sam will die, this includes Dean. compare 2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two and 3.16 no rest for the wicked: Dean does die and leaves Sam alone
    • the nature of Sam’s relationships don’t matter, because his mother was the first victim. no one is safe from his curse. because Sam specifically discusses this curse through a lens of romance, the lines between family and lover become blurred, and therefore too does his relationship with Dean
      • does Sam want to go back to school to stay away from Dean and therefore protect him?
    • Sam is still scared to commit to the family (and anyone else) and so he won’t let himself have feelings by returning home
  • Sam “death just follows me around”
  • Sam “the pain that i went through, i can’t go through it again”
    • compare 1.12 faith: Sam refuses to let Dean die and instead condemns two innocents to death instead. also compare 2.01 in my time of dying, where Sam again refuses to let Dean die and refers to unethical supernatural solutions to help him. also compare 4.09 i know what you did last summer, which shows what will happen to Sam if he’s left without Dean
• Sam “some people are just born tortured”
  • Sam was born cursed: the B story of this episode is about Sam blaming himself for his family’s and lovers’ deaths
  • Sam is melanie: evil that looks innocent. Dean asks “who’d suspect her?” compare 1.11 scarecrow: Dean “my brother could give you this puppy dog look and you’d just buy right into it”
  • isaiah was melanie’s adopted father and the red herring used to hide the true evil (melanie)
    • compare John: he functions as the “innocent” adopted father who looks evil on the surface—and thus Sam is the true threat, the real evil. like isaiah too, John is also depicted as protecting others from Sam
• sarah “maybe you’re not cursed”
  • compare Dean in 1.14 nightmare: “our family’s not cursed”
  • sarah and Dean both reject Sam’s potential for evil and harm

• again Sam found this case, continuing the running theme from 1.14 nightmare, 1.15 the benders, 1.16 shadow, and 1.17 hell house
• the impala is beat up and dirty: Dean doesn’t take as good care of his car as he does in later seasons
  • compare this to 1.20 dead man’s blood where John says “i wouldn’t have given you the [car] if i thought you were gonna ruin it.” John’s scolding perhaps influences Dean to take better care of the car
  • alternatively, he could have found a sense of personal attachment to the impala after having to rebuild it from the ground up after it getting totaled in 1.22 devil’s trap
  • alternatively, the impala represents John: compare 2.02 everybody loves a clown, where Dean destroys the impala out of anger at John. so long as the impala represents John, its condition will reflect how Dean feels toward his father
• Sam took an (american) art history course in college to meet girls
• Sam “hookups are your thing”
  • compare 1.11 scarecrow and 1.16 shadow: they have different skillsets and strengths. Sam is better at research and talking to the general public, while Dean is better at pattern recognition and talking to hot girls (and has more practical experience hunting). they fall into these roles naturally and without second-guessing, suggesting they feel secure with them
• Sam knows how to disarm a security system

1x20 Dead Man's Blood

• the Winchesters are likened to this vampire nest, and to vampires in general. they’re a small, tight-knit, isolated family of hunters. they’re also somewhat nocturnal, since most of their hunting occurs at night, and they have toxic family dynamics. for both vampires and the Winchesters, family is their weakness
  • vampires are hunters and are stated to hunt in small packs—this is similar to hunters, implying once again that hunting is monstrous: compare 1.02 wendigo, 1.06 skin, 1.14 nightmare, 1.15 the benders
• the romantic nature of kate and luther’s relationship implies incest within the family dynamic: while luther is the patriarch of the nest, there is no evidence that kate is a matriarch and is instead much more likely to have been directly turned into a vampire by luther, making their relationship closer to parent-child. here, family is equated to sex and romance
  • kate turns jenny into a vampire by coating her own mouth with her blood and then kissing jenny—luther “likes to watch,” implying sexual voyeurism. turning a human into a vampire is therefore potentially a sex act, either in some or most cases, and definitely here where they’re compared to the Winchesters. this comes to imply that returning to or embracing the family is an act of sex
    • kate (to Dean) “i always like to make new friends”
      • she says this with sexual overtones, in a flirty voice. again, turning humans into vampires is a sex act, at least for this nest
  • kate = Dean and jenny = Sam: kate uses her blood to force jenny into her family. the blood inside them binds them together. it’s treated as an absolute, immutable, inalienable force in the way it instantly changes jenny’s loyalty—she is no longer scared of the vampires and instead embraces them as her family
    • blood is symbolically destructive and corrupting, similar to the demon blood in Sam’s veins and the familial blood which invites ruin (1.11 scarecrow)
    • Sam’s demon blood vs Sam’s family blood: which is worse? which will destroy him? this episode mirrors his fate vs family conflict through the blood shared between the vampires
    • this implies Dean is seducing Sam via his incestuous desire to return to the family and be loyal to them. jenny is an outsider who is brought into the family as an equal, similar to Sam’s journey across season 1: he was outcast from the family and became an “outsider” but returned on equal terms through Dean’s persuasion
  • luther “welcome home, baby” to jenny
    • “home” is family in this case, and “baby” is a sexual/romantic endearment. again, family is treated as something sexual here, implying incest within the nest structure. luther is “adopting” jenny into his family, but this is an inherently sexual act shared with kate, her “mother” figure
    • this implies an ambiguously incestuous relationship between John, Dean, and Sam. John has a sexual relationship with Dean, and Dean has a sexual relationship with Sam, which means that John claims (sexual) ownership of Sam via Dean but is not in direct ownership of him
  • vampires mate for life and are fiercely protective of their kin

• John demands unquestioning loyalty from his sons. he gets defensive whenever Sam questions him and undermines his absolute authority
  • when Sam asks why the colt is important, John refuses to explain. he expects them to fall in line; explanations take too much time, blind obedience is how things get done. this happens again when Sam asks how John knows he’s picked up the vampires’ trail, and John tells him to “just follow” instead of answering
  • Sam needs to be included as an equal in this dynamic, but John won’t let him. John is a lone wolf-type character—this style of hunting also manifests in Sam during stressful situations or when he’s grieving (3.11 mystery spot, 3.16 no rest for the wicked)
    • Sam is family-oriented; he wants to belong to his family and he wants everyone to be included. exclusion and ostracization is his biggest fear and concern
  • Dean doesn’t trust his own judgment (1.18 something wicked) so he follows John’s orders, exactly as expected. this reinforces John’s mindset and justifies the dynamic they’ve fostered
    • Dean lacks a sense of self and so clings to others to give him purpose and direction
• John hounds Dean over the state of his car—compare to 1.19 provenance: the impala was dirty and beaten up from use
  • John is quick to nitpick and berate and fault-find with his kids: a figure of authority requires constant reinforcement of authority. even if your subordinate is perfectly loyal, fault-finding will instill fear of reprobation and make them fall back in line and avoid acting out. it maintains a constant anxiety that encourages the subordinates to check themselves and find fault on their own so that they’re constantly looking to their superior for approval. this could be learned behavior from his time in the marines (see later in the episode where he says he “became [their] drill sergeant”)
  • Dean is the perfect child, according to Sam (1.08 bugs), but this shows that no matter how hard Dean tries to be what John wants him to be, he will inevitably fail. see too 1.18 something wicked: Dean lost John’s trust after the shtriga attack and never managed to gain it back. this seems to be by design, considering how small a nitpick this is—Dean is so quick to obey John because he wants to earn his trust back; he knows he walks a thin line, and John’s lack of trust in him has perpetuated Dean’s lack of trust in himself
• Dean “that’s just the way the old man runs things” Sam “...maybe that worked when we were kids, but not anymore, all right? not after everything we’ve been through, Dean”
  • Sam values the time he’s spent with Dean, probably because Dean treats him as an equal partner and includes him in the decision-making process
  • Sam “i mean, are you telling me you’re cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show?” Dean “if that’s what it takes”
    • Dean hesitates here: he’s faltering in his conviction to follow John blindly now because his development reverse of Sam has made him realize (more so) that family is ruin, that independence can be good
    • however, he’s still trying to return to innocence. compare 1.16 shadow, where Sam won’t commit to his development, and now we see Dean not committing to his development, either
• Sam “something big is going down and we wanna know what”
  • Sam includes Dean in this (“we”) despite not having discussed things beforehand. perhaps he correctly interpreted Dean’s doubts and is therefore speaking for him and defending him because Dean won’t or can’t do it himself. alternatively, he’s hiding behind Dean and using the wall of the collective to avoid the full burden of John’s retribution
  • Sam speaking for Dean means that he believes they’re on the Same page, or at least he wants them to be. compare 12.14 the raid where Dean speaks for Sam while defending him from mary
• Dean shifts his gaze between John and Sam during their fight: he’s gauging their reactions. he pulls Sam away—it’s the easier and more manageable option to calm Sam down than to confront John and defend Sam
• Dean “that means you, too”
  • this is the exact halfway point in the episode
  • Dean is finally defying John. the first half of the episode represents the “status quo,” the point of origin for their development. Sam is angry and defiant, Dean is blindly loyal, and John is domineering. from here on, though, interactions will reflect their developments. this is marked by Dean choosing Sam over John, standing up to his father for what seems to be the first time and showing him who he has become over the past year
• both Sam and John get into their respective cars after Dean breaks apart the fight, leaving Dean physically caught in the middle. he looks helpless—he has to choose between them, and this is represented by the cars. he gets into the impala, thus choosing Sam
  • notably, the impala is his car: he never had a choice which car he was going to get into. this indicates Dean never had a choice which person he was going to choose, either—it was always going to be Sam. narratively he is doomed by Sam’s choices (compare 1.11 scarecrow)
  • also notably, Sam is the one driving the car in this episode. he is physically driving the car just as he is narratively driving Dean’s story
• after Dean stands up to John, John finally asks if they want to know about the colt. he’s cooled down and conceding to reason
  • Sam hesitates, deflates, and responds “yes, sir.” this is a comfortable habit he’s willing to fall back into now that John is including him: Sam is willing to run right back to his family as soon as they include him. he wants to be part of the family, possibly more so than Dean does. again, his exclusion from the family is not his fault
• Dean “you can’t take care of them by yourself” Dean “all due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap”
  • he questions John again and stands firm in his conviction because now the status quo is broken and Dean has chosen Sam over John. at the Same time, this is a very emotional moment for him: it’s difficult for him to break his conditioning and what he once thought were his values
• Sam is uncomfortable and worried when Dean defies John. he’s fallen back on his conditioning (“yes, sir”) and has become more comfortable following John’s orders now that Dean is on his side and has influenced John to treat them more as equals
  • Sam is okay with Dean taking the reigns so long as he’s still included in the decision-making process and Dean is firmly “on his side.” he doesn’t feel the need to dominate Dean or control him; in fact he’s more comfortable being led around and following. the stark shift between Sam in the first half and Sam in the second half implies that Sam only takes control out of necessity: he’s loud because no one will listen to him and he’s desperate to be heard. when he’s being listened to, he’s more prone to following orders and letting others take control of the situation while he follows their lead
  • Dean’s reverse development: Sam returns to the family while Dean defies the family

• John “you walked away” Sam “you’re the one who said don’t come back. you closed that door, not me”
  • compare the 1.08 bugs argument
  • Sam implies he didn’t want to leave the family forever
    • compare 1.01 pilot: the conflict is stanford vs family, Sam has to pick between his two homes—he can’t have both, he has to choose between one or the other, there is no middle ground where Sam can have his independence and his family
  • John interpreted Sam leaving as a betrayal (cheating, infidelity) and burned the bridge. compare 1.11 scarecrow, where Dean uses the Same tactic to scare and intimidate Sam into staying with him: threaten full exclusion (Sam’s core fear) to keep the leash short
    • indicates an anxious attachment style, which probably influenced Dean’s—and Sam’s. compare 1.12 faith (Sam refuses to let Dean die) and 1.19 provenance (Sam refuses to get close to anyone because he’s afraid of losing them)
    • all three of them are very all-or-nothing: Sam can’t leave and come back; Dean has to obey every order; Sam can’t date at all because she’ll die; John can’t go off on his own even if it’s safer
• Sam is anxious to be separated from Dean, even for mundane things such as Dean going to a morgue to secure dead man’s blood. he wants to help him and simultaneously ensure his safety. he fears his family dying (compare 1.12 faith, 1.19 provenance). this could either be an influence from 1.15 the benders, or it could have always been present
  • John, on the other hand, is impassive about Dean’s absence. he’s comfortable delegating, indicating that he trusts his kids to do what they need to do (or at least he trusts Dean) without his micromanaging
• John “we’re just different” Sam “we’re not different. not anymore”
  • consider: does John care about saving people as much as Dean does? when they raid the nest, John goes immediately for the colt while Sam and Dean deal with the hostages. this shows John is more concerned with the mission than with helping others (and compare 1.18 something wicked, where he abandons a case because it put Sam in danger: he only really cares about Sam and Dean’s lives). like Sam, he is driven by revenge. this could indicate, then, that Dean invented the “saving people” part of the mantra for himself, possibly as penance for his negligence in 1.18 something wicked
    • compare 1.02 wendigo, 1.12 faith, 1.11 scarecrow, 1.19 provenance
    • this means Dean is actually the black sheep of the family because vengeance doesn’t move him, and he cares more about helping others than the mission. even when Sam dies (2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two), he’s more concerned with bringing him back than with any kind of revenge. compare this to Sam in season 4, who drinks demon blood to get strong enough to kill lilith in revenge for taking Dean to hell

• John “all i cared about was keeping you boys alive”
  • “alive” being the operative word: they’re less concerned about the quality of life than the mere fact that they are alive, and they’re willing to selfishly sacrifice themselves to ensure that, even if it goes against what they want. John’s perspective on this could have influenced both Sam and Dean, who follow in his footsteps on this matter over and over again (compare 2.01 in my time of dying, 2.08 crossroad blues, 2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two, 3.15 time is on my side, 4.09 i know what you did last summer)

• John admits that hunting Azazel is a suicide mission. he has been trying to keep Sam and Dean away because he doesn’t want them to see him get hurt or die, and he doesn’t want to see them potentially die either: “i can’t watch my children die, too.” compare 2.01 in my time of dying, where he sacrifices himself to Azazel for Dean’s life. he was destined to die on this hunt, and he accepted that long ago which is why he can die for Dean so easily

• Dean “we’re stronger as a family”

  • maybe; but compare 1.11 scarecrow, 1.16 shadow, 3.16 no rest for the wicked: family is weakness, and this episode is no exception, since it’s family bonds that become the undoing for the vampire nest as well. monsters also know to use family against Sam and Dean to manipulate them
    • the collective is strong but destructive
  • family is a liability: luther is weak because of his love for kate and so too is the Winchester family because of their love for each other. Dean’s declaration is wrong. here Dean is blinded by Sam’s decisions: he lacks agency of his own and comes to parrot Sam’s values instead (see 1.16 shadow, Sam “we should stick together”)
    • Dean in 1.06 skin was right. Sam’s return to the family is the wrong choice
    • this episode proves the thesis: compare 1.06 skin, 1.11 scarecrow, 1.16 shadow, 1.19 provenance
    • the vampires knowingly walk into a trap to save their kin (see 2.10 hunted when ava tells Sam he’s walking into a trap, and Sam responds “doesn’t matter. it’s my brother”)

• luther grabs Sam and uses him as a hostage to threaten Dean. it’s a direct parallel to John using kate as his hostage. again the vampires are paralleled with the Winchesters and proves their loves makes them weak. Dean can’t let Sam get hurt, so he puts down his weapons just like luther did to protect kate. luther’s love for kate is romantic, which implies lovers and family are one and the Same

• John “we are stronger as a family”

  • directly contradicts the moral of the episode and all of the evidence until now: this choice will lead to ruin. compare to 1.11 scarecrow where again they make the decision that runs contrary to the moral
    • as a consequence, John will die and Azazel will get the colt (2.01 in my time of dying)
  • Sam is happy to be included in the family finally :)
  • Dean seems more reserved about the decision. this could imply his reverse development, or perhaps that he’s learned from what he witnessed during their confrontaton with the vampires. he may subconsciously recognize that family will lead to ruin and destruction. he’s also not intrinsically motivated to kill Azazel, and finishing the hunt can still lead to his abandonment, so he has motives that contradict Sam and John’s

• kate and most of the other vampires don’t know what the colt is or what it can do; luther is seemingly the only one who is aware of its power
• Dean is still pressuring Sam to hook up with sarah—perhaps he approves of her because they’re similar
• Sam and Dean both search for a new hunt this time—it’s a joint effort now
• they compare daniel elkins’s hunting methods to John’s a lot: this implies John learned from him, possibly as an apprentice. John Winchester’s journal indicates too that John met elkins on Sam’s first birthday, just over five months after he started hunting
  • elkins keeps a journal that’s similar to Johns: elkins might have shown him how to maximize its usefulness, what’s important to note down, etc.
  • he uses secret messages (like the PO box) that Sam and Dean recognize, indicating that John learned the style from him. he also might have taught elkins to utilize coordinates as a code for directions, since Dean mentions in 1.01 pilot that it’s “ex-marine crap”
  • John and elkins apparently had a “falling-out” and they haven’t seen each other in years. neither Sam nor Dean are familiar with him, indicating that they probably weren’t taken to see him after the initial few visits John made when Sam was one and two (John’s journal)
• once John meets up with them, Sam and Dean take to sleeping on top of the covers on the bed, shows and clothes on: this is a high-stress, urgent hunt that requires quick reaction speeds
• John’s kit in his truck is more souped up and swanky compared to the impala: Dean is intimidated by it
• Sam “what’d you do with the college fund?” John “spent it on ammo”
  • Sam laughs at this: he isn’t angry or bitter about this. compare 1.08 bugs and 1.14 nightmare: Sam has forgiven John for how he was raised. he understands why John did what he did, and the choices he made no longer anger Sam

1x21 Salvation

• pastor jim “salvation was created for sinners”
  • jim says this to Meg, who is an allegory for Sam throughout season 1. she comes seeking salvation: “i’ve lied. a lot. i’ve stolen. i’ve lusted. and the other day i met this man. a nice guy, you know? we had a really good chat, sort of like this... then i slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest”
  • Meg asking forgiveness puts Sam in the position to be saved
    • Sam’s sins: his curse (1.07 hook man, 1.08 bugs, 1.09 home, 1.14 nightmare) and “killing” his loved ones (1.01 pilot, 1.07 hook man, 1.19 provenance). he blames himself for this (1.05 bloody mary), so he must atone and be absolved. he is seeking salvation (through good deeds: see Sam seeking out hunts enthusiastically in 1.15 the benders, 1.16 shadow, 1.17 hell house, and 1.19 provenance)
    • the drawing at the start of the episode with the dark figure and Sam’s name next to it indicates that John knows about Sam’s curse—Azazel’s curse, mary’s curse. in 2.01 in my time of dying (revealed 2.10 hunted), John tells Dean that Sam will need to be saved by him, which becomes the focal point of season 2
      • is he saved in 2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two, when Azazel is killed?
        • this episode implies that Sam will receive salvation through revenge. it also implies that his salvation comes through his death and sacrifice of self
        • Sam also loses his psychic powers in season 3, implying that he has been saved (temporarily)
        • compare 2.21 all hell breaks loose, part one: Sam dies, Azazel is killed. therefore, 1.21 salvation is the failed attempt at salvation that gives the blueprint for his successful salvation in season 2
• Sam can live as a sinner or die saved: there is no good choice
  • choosing the family is to remain sinful; choosing revenge is to die and be saved. choosing the family will invite the destruction of everyone around him (1.11 scarecrow, 1.19 provenance) but choosing his fate will kill him and lead him down the path of the boy king
  • Sam must die to absolve him of his curse: compare 2.21 all hell breaks loose, part one, and 5.22 swan song. Dean won’t let him die in 1.21 salvation, so Sam remains cursed
  • alternatively, Sam can embrace his curse and use his power, appropriate his fate. this is seemingly what Azazel and Meg want for him to do. it’s also possible that death was always in Azazel’s plan: consider that Meg died to become a demon—this could have been Sam’s original path to follow. whether Sam lives or dies, he is still destined to become a demon (see 4.22 lucifer rising)
  • it’s a doomed tragedy no matter what choice Sam makes. he can’t escape the narrative, and as a result neither can Dean because Dean’s fate is tied to Sam’s choices
  • the only way to avoid tragedy is to remove himself from the narrative (see 5.13 the song remains the Same), but he can’t because he’s been doomed by the incestuous seduction of his family: he needs his family, he’s family-oriented, and he longs to belong to them. his exclusion drives him down the path to his fate—there are only two options
    • Sam needs to return home, but home will kill him and everyone around him, but there is no other option for him: this is the horror of incest
    • Sam will always return home, and the doomed prophecy will always be fulfilled (see: 4.03 in the beginning, 1.01 pilot, 1.11 scarecrow)

• John’s notes at the beginning of the episode include a page on which is depicted a shadowy figure with a halo around its head, spindly fingers clutching an orb. to the right is the word Sam in all caps, a box drawn around it to signify its importance. a crude drawing of the colt is in the top left corner, with the caption “THE ONE. ONLY ONE.” underneath
  • the figure resembles Azazel: he was first seen in the shadows of Sam’s room and has been a metaphorically shadowy presence in the Winchesters’ lives
    • therefore, John knows he did something to Sam. the colt is the only thing that can kill Azazel—is this the only thing he wants to kill with it?
  • the halo resembles that of an angels—could represent lucifer
  • the orb in its hand might represent power, blood, clairvoyance (crystal ball)
    • Azazel fed Sam his blood from his wrist; Sam’s powers are psychic, come from the mind
  • this could be foreshadowing Sam’s boy king destiny
• according to John, Azazel started leaving a trail about one year ago, which is when John abandoned his hunt in jericho right before the series began. this is also when Sam’s powers started developing and he began seeing visions of jessica’s death
  • Azazel is operating on a 23-year cycle. new special children are being born, so he’s going around and giving them his blood. this could be collateral if the current generation of kids fails
    • assuming he’s done this in the past too, this raises some questions as to whether other psychic characters like missouri are connected to Azazel or other demons
• Dean “it’s not your problem, it’s ours!”
  • he’s including Sam by carrying a share of Sam’s burden, bringing him into the family and letting Sam be part of the collective
• Dean only defies John in defense of Sam. he still wants to remain loyal to John and only stands against him when the choice is between him or Sam. Sam is at the top of Dean’s pyramid, but John is right below him
  • \1.20 dead man’s blood first when Sam and John are fighting, then when John says he’s trying to keep his kids safe
  • \1.21 salvation when John tells them that they should have called him about Sam’s visions
• John agrees to give up the colt (as a ruse) to stop Meg from killing his friends. this shows he cares about their well-being, supposedly over his mission and revenge
  • this is further explored in 2.01 in my time of dying, where he does really give up the colt to Azazel in exchange for Dean’s life
• John “i want to stop losing people we love. i want [Sam] to go to school, i want Dean to have a home”
  • John understands Dean as a family man
  • he wants better for his kids than what he’s provided
• Meg “war has casualties”
  • compare to Dean’s development across the season: in 1.22 devil’s trap, he kills an innocent man for the first time with the colt
• Dean “i’d feel better if we were there backing him up” Sam “i’d feel better if he were here backing us up”
  • this reveals their priorities: Dean values saving people (John and John’s friends), Sam values hunting things (getting his revenge)
    • Sam wants to be good (see 1.14 nightmare) but he can’t escape his nature
• Sam is willing to kill himself for revenge. this compares to John’s suicide mission (1.20 dead man’s blood) and draws parallels between them once again. by contrast, Dean is focused on saving them from their suicide missions—he only ever gets suicidal on Sam’s behalf, compared to John and Sam who get suicidal for their missions. notably, Sam in particular only sacrifices himself to save Dean one time, in 5.22 swan song, when he successfully overcomes his fate and chooses family for the final and most definitive time
  • John and Sam prioritize revenge even over their lives. Dean does not, he prioritizes instead family and togetherness: “if hunting this demon means getting yourself killed, i hope we never find the damn thing.” we finally get the absolute confirmation that Dean doesn’t want to find and kill Azazel if it means losing Sam (to death or abandonment): see 1.16 shadow
• Dean “you said yourself that no matter what we do they’re gone, and they’re never coming back”
  • referencing 1.01 pilot: their roles have reversed. Dean was speaking for John: he had no sense of self or intrinsic motivation for revenge, and he was acting merely as a tool for their father. but by now he’s speaking for himself because he’s chosen Sam over John. he finds himself and independence through Sam’s influence, but he will be unable to achieve either due to Sam’s wrong choices: compare to 1.11 scarecrow where the Same thing happens. Dean makes efforts to be his own person, but Sam quickly pulls Dean back into his orbit and disallows him from separating from him
  • Sam reacts violently to Dean saying this, again mirroring the pilot: he has progressed to be a reflection of John, who in season 1 represents the pursuit of revenge and therefore Sam’s fate. by choosing to react this way, he is choosing his fate over Dean

• Meg is a high-ranking, powerful demon. she’s immune to hallowed ground
• pastor jim is a hunter. Meg is killing hunters in John’s network, therefore isolating him and his family. once again, family leads to ruin, connections are liabilities, independence and solitude is the correct choice
• John studies weather patterns to figure out how demons alter it. this is not yet common knowledge; even bobby is surprised by his findings despite having many books on demonology. demons themselves are rare occurences before season 3; not much is known about them (compare 1.22 devil’s trap, bobby says there’s only been about three to four possession cases per year until this past year)
• the sign at the salvation city limits reads: “are you ready for judgment day? JW 2:27”
  • JW isn’t in the bible, most likely stands for John Winchester. therefore, this sign is foreshadowing John’s sacrifice and untimely death
  • more christian motifs, a very oppressive one at that. it’s also linking John to christianity, giving a nod to his role as the absent god of the narrative
• there’s a close-up on the clowns in Sam’s vision of monica’s death by Azazel. this could be because Sam is afraid of clown, so his fears latched onto the mobile as a motif for danger
• Sam wants to tell monica the truth about Azazel and rose—but they both quickly discard the idea. Sam has learned from his mistakes (compare 1.08 bugs) that lying is better

1x22 Devil's Trap

• Dean “screw the job”
  • he values saving people (family) over hunting things
  • Sam “we can still finish the job”
    • he values hunting things (Azazel) over saving people
    • “it’s what he would want.” Sam is paralleled to John. by choosing revenge, he’s choosing fate over family, which is the correct choice. choosing family here would lead to ruin (Azazel possessing John and trapping Sam and Dean)—compare 1.11 scarecrow
• Sam “you know how pissed dad would be if we used all the bullets? he wouldn’t want us to bring the [colt]”
  • this is foreshadowing to later in the episode where Dean realizes that John is possessed
  • once again, Sam is aligned with John, and Dean is the black sheep of the family for caring more about saving John than the mission at hand
  • Dean “since when do you care what dad wants?” Sam is imposing his own feelings (revenge) onto John, turning him into a monolith for his own destiny. John is merely a scapegoat
• Sam “we want to kill this demon! you used to want that too!”
  • Dean does not want this intrinsically; he was just following John’s instruction as his father’s tool. this again confirms that Dean is not motiated to find and kill Azazel, especially to the capacity that Sam and John are. between 1.01 pilot and about 1.08 bugs, Dean merely acts as a spokesperson for John and not as his own person
  • Sam “you’re the one who dragged me back into this”
    • Dean’s real reason for getting Sam was to be a family again (1.16 shadow), but Sam misinterprets this and thinks it’s about getting revenge—Dean never actually says this. Sam is again imposing his own feelings onto Dean and using him as a scapegoat. Dean got Sam from college because John was missing, and Sam single-handedly chooses to continue hunting with him in order to get revenge for jessica. Dean was never motivated by revenge, but Sam retroactively rewrote history
• Dean “you’re selfish [...] you don’t care about anything but revenge”
  • compare 1.11 scarecrow: Dean calls selfish when he turns away from the family and prioritizes revenge. the good of the many outweighs the good of the one
  • it’s a redux of the conflict in scarecrow, and both times Sam seemingly gets his way until Dean chooses Sam: in scarecrow, Dean tells Sam he admires him, and here he lies to Sam and brings the colt with him which allows him to save Sam’s life
    • Dean chose his family, which invited ruin: he killed an innocent man
    • it’s a reversal of 1.11 scarecrow: Sam chooses the one by pursuing his revenge, and Dean chooses the many by bringing the colt and killing a human—the prophecy in scarecrow is fulfilled: protecting the family involves the sacrifice and murder of outsiders

• \1.11 scarecrow is repeated and played straight in 1.21 salvation: their progress isn’t linear
  • Dean is trapped inside the family. he almost escaped in scarecrow, but Sam wouldn’t let him and dragged him back into orbit around him, this time with Sam as his center instead of John. he has defied the family, but that only extends to John, who is in the process of becoming an outsider. as John shifts outside of Dean’s understanding of “family,” it becomes more acceptable to defy him (1.20 dead man’s blood)
    • when Sam brought Dean back into the family, the individual that he was developing and the collective he came from merged and resulted in the brother
      • Dean is not allowed to value the individual, but he has progressed past the collective. all that remains is Sam, whose choices determine his fate. and so they become a single unit, not quite individuals but not quite a collective: rather, they are one single entity in two bodies—they are achieving codependency
• Dean saved Sam’s life by killing someone. compare 1.12 faith when Sam saves Dean by killing someone (twice). again, family leads to ruin
• Dean “for you or dad, the things i’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh... it scares me sometimes”
  • codependency: the good of the many brother outweighs the good of the one
    • sacrifice must be made in the name of the brother
  • John (Azazel): “it shouldn’t. you did good”
    • Azazel is emphasizing violent codependency as a positive expression of love, something to aspire to. in this way he’s inserting himself again into the family unit, taking on the role of both Sam and Dean’s father, and manipulating their values to become more toxic and unhealthy. in a way he is parenting Dean here, being a supportive father to him by encouraging his destructive behaviors which will ultimately hurt everyone around them
• Azazel “kill me”
  • but Dean won’t, because he doesn’t value killing Azazel, especially over saving his family
  • Sam also doesn’t kill Azazel: he chooses his family (Dean) over his fate once and for all, and he completes his arc. he returns home, and his home is Dean. the conflict posited in 1.01 pilot is finally, definitively resolved
    • and yet this is the wrong choice: see 1.11 scarecrow
    • John dies in 2.01 in my time of dying anyway, with more disastrous consequences
• demons have families. demons are corrupted human souls; blook kinship doesn’t exactly exist. but kinship could be determined similarly to vampire families, so it’s possible that Azazel turned his family into demons himself, or perhaps family is more honorary and choice-driven than related to any kind of binding tie to another soul
  • if Azazel personally turned Meg and her brother into demons, though, then it could reason that Azazel thinks of Sam as his child as well—consider then all the incest in the Winchester family that Azazel is the root cause of (1.01 pilot, 4.03 in the beginning, the general situation of their family) and the way he inserts himself into Sam’s family

• Sam is pit between blind trust in Dean vs blind trust in John—he chooses Dean
  • they’ve both chosen each other in this episode over the family and over their fates/individuality. they can transcend the collective and the independent into codependency
• Azazel “they don’t need you, not like you need them”
  • Azazel preys on Dean’s fear of abandonment. this explains why every perceived act of separation between Dean and his family is seen as total abandonment. because he doesn’t believe his family needs him, so he is going to be discarded as soon as he fails to be useful to them
  • “Sam... he’s clearly John’s favorite”: Dean believes this, see 1.18 something wicked
• Sam checks on Dean first: in the battle between Dean vs John, Dean wins. codependency wins over the collective, family wins over fate

• exorcising the demon from Meg masters is a salvation for the real Meg. Dean had to “kill” Meg to save her—this parallels Sam’s situation: he has to die to be saved
  • this is Dean’s choice; Sam doesn’t want this but is willing to listen to Dean—he chooses Dean here
• Azazel goads Sam to use his powers, similarly to Meg in 1.16 shadow—he’s manipulating Sam with his family to awaken his powers and send him down the path of destiny
  • in season 4, ruby does the Same thing that Meg and Azazel are doing, using Sam’s family against him (ruby is more successful)
  • Sam won’t accept his powers, so nothing happens. this implies that Sam is scared of his power and loathes it even more strongly than he cares about saving Dean
    • alternatively, that he has hope Dean will somehow get out of it and that he subconsciously feels that he doesn’t need to save Dean. he thinks Dean can overcome anything

• bobby teaches Sam and Dean about devil’s traps
  • before the series began, three to four demonic possessions per year was average. throughout season 1, bobby has heard reports of twenty-seven possessions. demons are supposed to be very rare
    • in 2.22 all hell breaks loose, part two, they open the gates to hell, and demons become much more commonplace
• Meg lies about having killed John, which is the origin point of Dean’s firmly held belief that “demons lie”—a common recurring theme for the rest of the show
  • Dean also lies (about letting Meg go free instead of exorcising her) in this episode: the parallel again points to hunters being monsters
    • Dean’s lie makes Sam hesitate—he values honesty and openness
    • Sam choosing hunting to try and be good (1.14 nightmare) is the wrong choice because it takes him down the path to evil and monstrosity. hunting is akin to pursuing his destiny
• Meg has been possessed for a year, about as long as Sam has had his powers
• Azazel “what are you and god gonna do?”
  • implies god is powerless, absent, and uncaring
  • compare this uncaring absent god to John in season 1, who is seemingly uncaring and absent from Dean’s life