The Vampire and the Grave

Mika: (I sure learned a whole lotta stuff from today’s recording. Who knew Grimm’s Fairy Tales were so gross?)

(The staff said there’s a bunch more stories than just the ones we went through in the program. Maybe they got ‘em in the book room?)

(If they do, I wanna read ‘em afore I go to bed... ♪)

...Nn?

Ritsu: Zzz... zzz... ♪

Mika: (I’s wonderin’ who it was, but it’s just Ritsu-kun. Looks like he’s havin’ a nice dream, he’s sleepin’ so peaceful-like on the couch.)

(But hm, even though we got the heat on, he might catch a cold if I let him alone here. Makes me a li’l sad, but I gotta wake him up.)

Heyyy. You oughta sleep in your own bed, yanno~?

Ritsu: Mm, mnn...

Mika: Whatcha doin’ sleepin’ in a place like this, Ritsu-kuuun?

...Ngah?! Oh no, all’s I did was tap you on the shoulder but you just fell right on the floor.

It made such a big thud, too. Sorry ‘bout that~ I didn’t mean to put so much force into it...

You okay? You’re not hurt or nothin’ are ya?

Ritsu: ......

Mika: Ritsu-kun?

Ritsu: ......

Mika: (Huh... What’s goin’ on? He ain’t talkin’.)

W–wait, could he be...

Did I hit ‘im so hard he died...?!

Ritsu-kun, hang in there! You’re too young to die!

Ritsu: ......

Mika: O–oh no... I can’t even hear a peep outta him.

Wh–what do I do? If I kill someone, Oshi-san’s gonna get mad for sure! No, I can’t let that happen, I can’t live with that!

I–I–I–I gotta hide it where no one’s gonna find it... My room—no, there’s no place to hide it, so somewhere else...

Got it! The courtyard! I can bury ’im in the courtyard...!

(Aw, jeeeez... There ain’t nothing I can use to dig up the dirt.)

(I guess I could borrow the ladle an’ spoon from the kitchen to dig it up? But that’d take so much time...)

Hajime: Good evening, Kagehira-senpai.

Mika: Ngah—! Hajime-kun! And Kazehaya-senpai...!

Tatsumi: It looks like you’re having some trouble. I’d be happy to help, if you’d like.

Mika: Uhh, ummmm...

(I wanna bury Ritsu-kun out in the courtyard, but I can’t go an’ bring that up to ‘em... huh?)

Hey, y’all’s clothes’re all dirty... What happened?

Hajime: Oh, sorry about that. We were out doing some planting for Gardenia out in the courtyard until just a few minutes ago.

Mika: Doin’ some plantin’...

Tatsumi: Yes. They’ll bloom into beautiful flowers come next spring.

Mika: Y–yeah, I’m sure they will... Hey, y’all think maybe I could getcha to lend me one of Gardenia’s shovels?

Tatsumi: You don’t need our permission to borrow anything. All of our gardening tools are in a corner of the shed in the courtyard. Anyone who lives here is able to use them freely.

Mika: Ohh, really? That’s good to hear. Then I’ll go get it right now—

Tatsumi: Right now? But it’s getting dark out. What are you planning on doing?

Mika: Ngah. I–I um...

Hajime: Fufu. Wouldn’t it be for your art, Senpai? Since you’re an artist after all.

You probably can’t say anything until it’s finished. Right, Kagehira-senpai?

Mika: Sure... Sure as sugar it is. I really wanna keep it a secret.

Tatsumi: I see. Forgive me for asking such a tactless question.

I’d love to see it when it’s finished. Then, I’ll leave you to it.

Hajime: Good luck with your work, Kagehira-senpai ♪

Mika: Th–thank ya kindly...

(Urgh. I done lied to such saintly people... I’m prolly gon’ be cursed and become a li’l beetle in my next life.)

(Sorry y’all...)

Thirty minutes later

Mika: (I got all the tools I need, and I brought Ritsu-kun here with the wheelbarrow I found in the shed. So now all’s I gotta do is dig that hole...)

Ngah~ But I’m super night-blind, so I can’t see nothin’ when it’s so dark out.

But if I turn on a light, someone’s gonna find me. So I just gotta keep diggin’ like this.

The dirt’s so hard, though. I feel like no matter how much I dig, it’s gonna take forever.

Ritsu: You look like you’re having trouble, Mikarin. Want me to help you?

Mika: Seriously? I’d really appreciate th—

Mika: Waaaaaahh?! Ritsu-kun!!

Ritsu: Fu fu fu, my prank was a huge success~ ♪ This is great, you nearly jumped out of your own skin.

Mika: P–prank...? Uhh, ain’t you dead...?

Ritsu: Nope. I wanted to see how you’d react, so I pretended to be dead.

I thought you’d never fall for it, since you can’t kill someone just by tapping their shoulder. You’re so innocent, Mikarin~

Mika: I–is that right... Well I’m glad you’re alive.

I seriously thought I killed ya... So I was so surprised just now my heart stopped dead.

Ritsu: Ahaha, well if you die, I’ll do the honors of burying you.

I’ll claim a plot for us and put up a sign that says “Here Lies Mikarin” and one that says “Here Lies Ritsu-kun.” Where do you want it? Maybe under a cherry tree?

Mika: Ah jeez, you’re so impatient, Ritsu-kun. We’re still alive yanno!

Ritsu: That’s right~ Then let’s fill up this hole and go back to our rooms, okay?

Mika: Huh? But you didn’t do nothin’, Ritsu-kun. I’ll do it myself.

Ritsu: You said you’re night-blind, didn’t you? It’ll be faster if we do it together. Come on~

Mika: You’re right about that. Thank ya kindly, Ritsu-kun... ♪

jp proofing: FleetingMelody
eng proofing: Blake