Prologue

Mid-September, at Café Cinnamon where Crazy:B frequents

Rinne: Yep, that’s a ron! Thirteen Orphans, baby! Niki, you’re cooked~ Next time, don’t throw your tiles away without thinking, dumbass! Gyahahahaha ☆^[1]

Niki: Hang on, why are you focusing your attack on me, Rinne-kun?! It’s supposed to be a match between you and HiMERU-kun!

I only got dragged into this ‘cause you didn’t have enough players. I don’t even know the rules!

Kohaku: Ditto for me. Hmm, so you’ve gotta collect all the tiles that match each other—that’s how mahjong works? I think I get it now~ Kokoko ♪

Rinne: Nah, we’re finished now. Poor Niki’s totally bankrupt—so as dictated by the Crazy:B Rules of Mahjong, we get to shave him bald.

Niki: Bald?! What? What you you mean by that?!

That—eek, what are you doing with those clippers, Rinne-kun?!

Rinne: Gyahahaha! Shaving time, shaving time!

Lucky you, Niki! Now you don’t have to worry about getting hair in your food!

Niki: Oh wait, that might actually be a good thing.

Rinne: Right? I’m always putting my dearest Niki first!

Now be a good boy! You’re gonna take the world by storm when you debut as the Hot New Thing ☆ The Buddhist Monk Idol! Gyahahaha!^[2]

Niki: Huhhh?! If I can’t quit being an idol even then, then what the hell’s in it for me?! You’re just wasting good hair!

Rinne: Can it. It’s not a punishment if it benefits you!

Quit complaining and take it like a man. This is the last time I let you seduce me with that coquettish glimpse of your nape through your hair!

Niki: No no no no? I do not remember trying to seduce you, Rinne-kun! You’re the one that’s getting all hot and bothered, all on your own!

HiMERU: —As usual, you display completely unbecoming behavior for idols.

It’s hard to know exactly what to be disgusted by. You could start, though, by making yourselves publicly presentable, at the very least.

Niki: Oh, you think so too, HiMERU-kun?! I mean, this is where I work!

It’s a place for people to unwind~ So I don’t want this to turn into a hang-out spot for Crazy:B!

Rinne: Heh? Where we sit down to have a nice, hot meal ain’t up to anyone else. What’s the public ever done for us, huh?

How long’re they gonna treat us like that?

They went and slapped a “troublemakers” label on us and said the world didn’t need us, we’re too annoying and cause too much trouble...

You wanna let ‘em kick us to the curb everywhere we go?

Niki: Uh, umm...?

So what you’re saying is you barge into this cute little coffee shop acting all tough and playing mahjong, and this is... an act of rebellion against an unjust world?

So this whole time you’ve been proving to everyone you refuse to just lay down and die?!

Kohaku: Don’t entertain him, Niki-han. This guy’s all talk; you tell him off and he’ll start speakin’ riddles around you until you’re all caught up in his nonsense.

You don’t gotta listen to him. Just kick him out so he’s outta your hair.

Rinne: Huh? Don’t say that, Kohaku-chan! I thought you liked talking to this lonely old man~ What, are you going through a phase right now?

Are you too grown-up to take a bath with Papa~?

Kohaku: ...... (flicks a mahjong tile at Rinne)

Rinne: Ow?! At least you’re a man of your word! I can’t believe you just attacked me without even hearing me out!

If that’s what you want, then I won’t go easy on ya! Lemme show you the difference between an adult and a little brat!

And once you’re crushed under my heel I’mma put cute little kitty ears on you and make you call me Master!

Kohaku: Oh, I’ll kill ya before that ever happens.

Niki: Didn’t I just say not to get so crazy at my work?

My manager’s giving me that look that says “Ohh, Niki-kun, we’re going to talk about this later ♪”

HiMERU: —Good grief.

HiMERU came along with you out of courtesy, but if you intend to waste all your time playing around, then it’s time for him to leave.

As mentioned the other day, HiMERU’s schedule is focused primarily on solo activities, as it was in the past.

He doesn’t have much time to spend on you all.

Rinne: Ohh? And I mentioned that was a no-go. As the leader of Crazy:B, my say trumps yours!

I also told you why we weren’t flying solo. You’re smart enough to understand all that, right Meru-Meru?

HiMERU: —It was understood, not persuasive. Ergo, HiMERU will not yield to you.

Rinne: Gyahaha! We never reached an agreement! which is why we said whoever won this game of mahjong would be the “correct” one, remember?

I kicked that small fry’s ass and took victory for myself, so you’ve gotta do what I said, just like you promised.

Niki: Hey, don’t insult the fry like that!

Kohaku: I think you got it backwards?

Niki: Nahaha ♪ Well fry are more useful to people ‘cause they can be eaten, right?

Kohaku: Why do you get so self-deprecating sometimes, Niki-han? It comes off like there’s some darkness in your heart... it’s kinda scary.

HiMERU: —From the start, HiMERU had no intention of accepting this wager. It’s inappropriate as an idol.

—Don’t think you can force everyone to do whatever you want, Amagi.

Rinne: ......

Yuuta: Where the hell are you?! Show yourself! And don’t even try to put up a fight!!!

Niki: Uh? What is it now? Why is there always so much going on around us?

Kohaku: Don’t ask me.

That’s, um—pretty sure that’s one of them 2winks, right? They’re in CosPro too.

I hear they’re twins, so which one is that? He’s makin’ all sortsa noise and havin’ one hell of a time, so maybe it’s the older one? He’s more of a happy-happy type.

HiMERU: —That distinction you’re making is nonsensical. This is probably the younger brother, Aoi Yuuta.

Kohaku: Huh? How’d you reckon? You know them kids, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: You can tell by looking at them. They make an effort to distinguish themselves in various ways.

Yuuta: Oh! There you are! I was told Crazy:B had been spending a lot of time here!

Kohaku: Even blisterin’ with rage, you still got a weirdly polite tone in your voice? We didn’t do nothin’ to ya, did we?^[3]

Yuuta: Didn’t do—! I was so sure you’d never go after anyone from the same agency, but I guess that makes me naïve!

You’re just a bunch of pests who stings people indiscriminately!

Crazy:B! No, Amagi Rinne! You give me back my Aniki, Hinata-kun...!