The Talking Dead

May, the year ES was established—on the roof of the idol course building at Yumenosaki Academy

Hajime: Hmhmm ♪ La la beats, love Ra✽bits~... ♪

(Ahh, It’s been so peaceful recently~ The sun is so nice and warm, and even the laundry smells so good.)

(Ever since ES was established, the school has gotten much quieter... I can even hear all the birdies chirping away.)

(I suppose it’s because the most energetic and intense students of Yumenosaki have graduated now. I do like how calm it’s gotten, but I also kind of miss them, I suppose.)

(So I guess I just started humming without even realizing—)

Hmhmm ♪ La la beats... ♪

???: Senpai Senpai Senpaaaai!^[1]

Hajime: Gyah?!

(Huh? Huh? What? Who’s that? But I didn’t hear any footsteps!)

(Nnnngh, that’s so embarrassing! I hope they didn’t hear me singing...!)

???: Senpai Senpai where are youuu?! Senpai-whose-name-I-don’t-know-yet-but-you’re-still-so-cool!

Um, um! I just want to thank you, Senpa—

—TONFA?!

Hajime: Tonfa?!

???: Hagyah?! Mmgwuh?! Wagyopyah?! Wahpoo?!

Hajime: H–hey! Are y–you okaaaay?!

???: ......

Hajime: Wawah, wh–wh–what do I do? That was such an... elaborate fall—Are you hurt?

???: “—It’s fine.”

“I’m quite lucky I’ve a sturdy body.”

“No matter what may happen, I shall persevere. That is the fate for a girl like me.”

Hajime: (G–girl? This person’s a girl, then? They do have long hair, though.)^[2]

(—Yeah, no. I of all people shouldn’t be judging them like that.)

(But they are wearing the boy’s uniform...? So maybe they’re similar to Narukami-senpai?)

(Wait, this isn’t the time to be thinking about that! Urgh, I’m always so slow when it comes to urgent situations...!)

E–excuse me!

???: “......”

Hajime: Are you all right...? Would you like me to carry you to the nurse?

???: “......”

Hajime: Oh! I may not look it, but I’m actually pretty strong, so...?

???: “One moment, please. I’ll switch back.”

Hajime: (Switch back...?)

???: —I thought I was gonna diiiiie!

Hajime: Gwaaah?! P–p–please don’t shout so suddenly!

???: Fwah? Oh oh oh I’m sorry! I don’t really get it, but I’m sorry! Usually when this kinda thing happens I’m aaalways the guy to blame!

Hajime: (Guy? Huh, but didn’t he just say he was a girl before?)^[3]

???: Hmm? You look so familiar! And sooo cute!

Hajime: Huh? Me? Well, I’m in the idol course, and I’m part of Ra*bits, so—

???: Waaah!!!

Hajime: Waaah—?!

???: I’m so sorry! My head goes all like pow! when you say confusing things, pow!

Hajime: L–like... pow?

???: Yes! My brain’s a little out of commission, you could say! So just having a conversation like this is like whoops! The thing just flies right out the window—

Hajime: Um, what thing...?

???: Waaah!!!

Hajime: Waaah—?!

???: —Exactly, that’s the thing! It’s annoying!

Hajime: I–I see...? That’s, um, not great...?

???: I’m used to it, so it’s fine! Onee-chan handles all the important stuff anyway!

Hajime: Onee-chan...? Umm, do you have a sister in the idol department, then?

???: Huh? Why would you think that? I don’t get it!

Hajime: Wha? Because you’re here in the idol course building...? And it seemed like you were looking for someone...?

???: Oh, so cool! Smart people just get things like that, huh!

You’re right~ There’s someone I really want to see... ♪

Hajime: A–and that would be your sister, right?

???: Couldn’t be farther off-target! I can see Onee-chan whenever I want!

Or I guess like, I can never meet her? Huh? Wait, I’m getting all confused again!

Where am I? Who am I...?

Hajime: ...? ...?

U–um? Then if you’re looking for someone, maybe we could get someone to make an announcement over the school broadcast for you?

Nii~cha—I mean, I have a senpai who just graduated, but he used to be a really important member of the broadcasting committee. So I know how to help you, maybe?

???: Stop, stop! Too many words! I’m too stupid to get it!

Hajime: Awawa. Um, I was just saying that we can use the broadcast to find who you’re looking for, maybe?

???: Whoa, really? That’s amazing, like magic! I don’t really get magic, actually! But Onee-chan knows a whole lot about it!

And she’s best at cycromanee!

Hajime: Cycro...? What’s that?

???: No wait! I got it wrong! It’s necromancy...! Me no speak-a the Japanese!

Hajime: Um, are you not Japanese...?

???: I’m the Japanesiest! And Onee-chan and Dad too! The Japanesiest!

Hajime: Right, got it... I am, too. We’re the same ♪

Hitsugi: Yes! We’re the same, so we’re friends now!

Wait! We’re friends, but you still don’t know my name! I’m a second year in the producer course—Kurone Hitsugi!

Hajime: Ohh. So if you’re a second year, then we’re the same age? I’m a second year in the idol course—Shino Hajime~ ♪

Hitsugi: Oh! Maybe we’re the same age, but I only just started school!

That person who helped me out—umm, I don’t know her name either, but the third year—everyone other than her is a new student! At least in the producer course!

Hajime: Umm. Well, the only third year in the producer course would be the only producer who enrolled last year—

So that would be Anzu-onee-chan?

Hitsugi: Huh? Onee-chan? Wait, so you’re that amazing person’s little brother, Shinohaji-kun?

Hajime: That’s a unique nickname... Um, but no, I’m not actually her little brother. But we were able to get close.

Hitsugi: Ohh~! I have an Onee-chan too! We’re the same! Friends~ ☆

Hajime: Friends... ♪ So um, Kurone...san?

Hitsugi: No no, please call me Hitsugi! Or else it’ll be confusing with Onee-chan around!

Well anyway... Aaah!!! Waaah!!! I forgot what I wanted to say!

Wait I remember! Shinohaji-kun, you said that person was Anzu-senpai? So then if you know her, can you call her phone or something maybe?^[4]

Hajime: Oh, then Hitsugi-kun—Hitsugi-san? Are you looking for Anzu-onee-chan?

Hitsugi: You got it! I want to see her so bad!

Hajime: I see! Fufu, Onee-chan’s always so popular.

But umm, Hitsugi-san, what do you need from her?

Hitsugi: I want to grant her wish!

Hajime: Huh...?

Hitsugi: She helped me, so I want to thank her by granting her wish!

Shinohaji-kun! Do you know if Anzu-senpai would want someone killed more, or would she want to bring someone back to life more?

Hajime: ...?

Hitsugi: My Onee-chan is a necromancer, see! So she’s really really good at that kinda stuff!

Uncle Gatekeeper even gave her lots of praise for it! Ehen ☆

Hajime: ...? ...? ...?

jp proofing: moricchiichan