HiMERU: —HiMERU would like to get this situation sorted out.
The source of everything is this order system.
At first, the Qualifying Rounds in the Kansai region were honest and respectable.
Tsukasa: Yes. By engaging in idol activities, we are compensated with SSL$—
That being said, the name and purpose may have changed, but we are essentially doing the same thing with these SSL$ as we have been with L$ at ES.
For those of us affiliated with ES, it’s something we’re intimately familiar with.
Ritsu: Yeah, but in this case, the ES idols have too much of an advantage compared to the non-ES idols because they don’t have any experience with it.
And so in order to ensure some kind of equality, the ES idols were given orders to follow.
And we’re bound by these rules to minimize the disparity between us and those idols off in the wild (?).
They’ve created a situation where everyone can compete on equal terms—but only on the surface.
Rinne: But the real problem’s that the local idols’re at this huge disadvantage ‘cause they’re competing on a playing field they’re not used to.
These orders barely make any difference whatsoever.
They call it a handicap, but it’s barely even a little scrape.
Niki: Huhhh? But it’s really doing a number on me?
Rinne: Hey, c’mon now Niki. Ya gotta put yourself in their shoes for a sec.
For all these local idol guys, this is basically the same as bein’ a soccer player and havin’ someone hand you a bat and glove, then say ya gotta start playin’ by the rules of baseball.
And then all the ES idols are like these pro baseball players who’ve been battin’ it up their whole lives.
And then all those Babe Ruth-lookin’-guys go complainin’ about being handicapped ‘cause they had to dye their hair brown during the game.
Sayin’ shit like “Oh, woe is me, I can’t stand this! But fine, if this makes it fair.” Got it?
Ain’t that dumb? Makes it seem like a con artist’s pullin’s one over on ya! Makin’ that long face like we’re sharing the burden, like it’s a mutual loss, but that soccer player’s the only one getting shafted!
Is the fact ya can’t eat takoyaki gonna throw your whole career down the drain? Huh?
Most of these orders are laughable at best, so the game’s still rigged in the ES idols’ favor!
If you’re looking for equality and fairness, go play soccer with the other soccer players!
Niki: Urgh, I’m not gonna understand it if you turn it into a sports metaphor! Make it about cooking instead!
Rinne: I get the feeling you never wanted to get it into your head in the first place, anyway.
HiMERU: Fufu. And still you go to great lengths to explain things to him. That’s somewhat admirable, Amagi.
Rinne: Shut it.
Anyway, that’s the whole point of this—SS is rigged so the ES idols can pound the strays into dust with our overwhelming advantage.
Ritsu: Yep. An aggressive war that aims to expand ES’s territory and force the strays to surrender to ES and obey them. That’s all SS is.
Rinne: It’s basically Yamato Takeru. Nah, maybe more like Yamato-koku?[1]
Ritsu: ...?
Rinne: Whatevs, I guess it’s lost on you guys anyway.
I’m just talkin’ ‘bout how a whole buncha ethnic groups were mushed under one umbrella as the “Wajin”—which means any wars and massacres that weren’t written down just never existed.[2]
Well, that’s got nothing to do with us in this day and age...
When you really dig your fingers in and try to figure out who the real sinner is, the answer is each and every one of us Homo sapiens, who rose up by cutting down all the other species in the world. Right?
Who knows? Maybe the ghosts of the Neanderthals are gonna crawl outta their graves and curse us all!
Anyway. This means that all of us ES idols were supposed to prove our superiority by winning these fixed games.
And they’d get to spread their propaganda ‘bout how cool and awesome ES is.
HiMERU: —Yes. However, the situation has changed.
The other day, all of a sudden, posters appeared all around the Kansai region.
Printed on them were the orders that were originally meant to be kept secret.
And a detailed description of which orders were given to which members of each unit.
Tsukasa: Yes. We also learned of Shiina-senpai’s order by means of those posters.
Rinne: —So? What happens now?
Ritsu: At first, everyone was just confused. We turned it over and over in our minds, thinking that it was strange for something like that to happen.
But then, someone was clever enough to realize that if what was printed on those posters was true—
It would be easy to destroy the ES idols, as well as their overwhelming advantage.