The Barbaric and the Elegant 1

One week later, on the first day of fine and UNDEAD’s vacation

Koga: Wheeew, we’re finally at the meeting place. Can’t believe it’s this hot so early in the morning... Just that short walk has me swimming in my own sweat. God dammit, my clothes are clinging to me, that’s disgusting.

Adonis: Wipe your sweat off, Oogami. If you don’t, you may catch a cold.

Koga: For real? I ain’t that weak. I can just shake the sweat off, like this.

Adonis: Stop that; the sweat is flying everywhere. If it gets in your eyes, you’ll be unable to see anything and you may fall. I’m less concerned about myself and more about Leon in his crate.

Koga: Oh... man, sorry ‘bout that, Adonis. N’ after I made ya come all the way out here at the asscrack of dawn.

His crate’s pretty big, and I got all this other shit too, so it’s hard to cart it around all by myself.

You were a ton of help with all my bags n’ shit, so thanks.

Adonis: You’re welcome. This sort of physical labor is what I excel at, and we should be there to support each other during hard times. ...I’m glad that Leon is able to come on the trip, too.

Koga: Seriously. I was worried for a sec ‘cause that Fushimi bastard was bein’ a real pain in my ass over it. Guess that means he’s not a dog person?

You ain’t into animals all that much either, right Adonis? You cool with Leon comin’ along?

Adonis: It’s not a problem. It’s not that I dislike animals; rather, it makes me sad when they’re afraid of me.

But Leon doesn’t get scared and bark at me, so I think we will be good friends.

Koga: Haha. Even Leon knows you’re one of my homies.

Adonis: Am I? I’m glad. In any case, all of our plans other than the matter with Leon has come together without any problems. It’s a relief.

To be honest, I thought there would be more disagreements.

We were fine’s enemy during the DDD, so I could not have expected us to do something like go on a trip together, as if we were best friends.

Koga: Haha, looks like Fushimi and Anzu did a damn good job organizin’ all this. They took what everyone wanted into account and put together a solid plan, huh?

Maybe this’ll actually end up being a seriously fun vacation. ...Huh?

Tori: ......

Koga: Hey, it’s that brat from fine. It’s about time everyone should be meetin’ up, so why’s he the only other one here?

Hey, brat! Where’s the rest of your crew?

Tori: Oh, Oogami...senpai! You’re late! Nobody else showed up, so I was worried you’d all gone to the wrong place!

Koga: Yeah, yeah, my bad. I had some trouble gettin’ here.

Tori: What? Oh, you have a dog! You’re really bringing him along?

I thought King might be too old to come on vacation with us, so I had my sister take care of him.

Koga: Wait, I remember somethin’ ‘bout you havin’ a dog too.

Tori: Yep! Wanna see? What’s this little guy’s name again?

Koga: Leon.

Tori: Hmm. He’s too cute to have such a manly name... Hello there, Leooon, I’m Himemiya Tori. Let’s have fun together on this trip, okay? ♪

Koga: Hey, don’t go touchin’ him without my permission.

Tori: Gyeh, don’t shove my head down like that! It’s so humiliating!

Urgh... It must be tough having such a violent owner, huh Leon? Wanna come live with me instead? I’ll spoil you rotten~ C’mere ♪

Adonis: Fufu. You like dogs as well, I see.

Tori: I do! They’re so cute! And obedient!

I can’t stand Oogami-senpai, though. He was super mean to me during the Circus and kept hitting me with a bamboo sword and stuff.^[1]

Koga: Huh? That was just tough love. If it don’t hurt, it’ll never get through your spoiled-rotten head!

Tori: Just saying it would have been good enough, seriously... Just try to behave yourself while we’re on vacation, got it? You’d be causing trouble for us too otherwise.

Koga: Haha. Leon’s the kinda dog who can really read the room.

Tori: I’m talking to you! Ughhh, your dog is way smarter than you, y’know!

A few minutes later

Tori: Urrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh, it’s soooooooo hooooooooooot...!

So so so so so hot! I feel like I’m melting!

Is the boat ever gonna be here? I need some AC, stat! I’m gonna die!!!

Koga: Oh, c’mon, shut the hell up already, you damn brat! Can’t you keep your mouth shut for just two seconds?! If you don’t stop yellin’ about how hot it is, you’re just gonna get even hotter!

Tori: Hey! Quit pinching my cheeks! I’m a pacifist!

What’re you gonna do if you mess up my cute face, huh? Fans all over the world would start crying, and then the humidity would go up even more!

Adonis: Oogami, don’t bully children.

Koga: I ain’t bullyin’ him, this is discipline! But I can’t believe how calm n’ collected you are, Adonis. Where are you from that makes you immune to the weather?!

Adonis: I am actually good with the heat. There are many deserts in my homeland, so I have probably grown resistant to extreme temperatures due to the intense fluctuations between heat and cold over there.

Koga: I dunno what to do with such a serious answer...

Anyway, where is everyone? We’ve been standin’ here for forever and nobody’s shown up. You sure we’re in the right place?

Tori: ......

Koga: Hey, brat! Give some kinda response at least! Show some respect to your senpais!^[2]

Tori: Pweh?! Are you blind or something?! I couldn’t answer ‘cause I was drinking water!

I know you’re in a piss-ass mood ‘cause it’s so hot out, but don’t take it out on me! Ugh, I’m traveling with a bunch of barbarians. This is the worst!^[3]

Koga: What did you say? You’re the ones who asked us to come on this trip, so you don’t got the right to complain about it!

Adonis: Now, now, don’t fight... Let’s all get along. This trip lasts three days and four nights, right? If we’re already at each other’s throats on day one, I’m afraid of what the rest of the vacation will be like.

You don’t want to walk away from this with nothing but regrets and bad memories. When traveling in a group, it’s important to be considerate of others. Even if there are unpleasant, you need to endure it.

Tori: Yep! That big guy over there said it perfectly! Maybe he could be useful...

Wahhh, that mangy mutt bit me, I’m so scaaared! Won’t someone protect me~? ♪

Adonis: Sure. I will protect all small creatures.

Koga: You bastard, quit tryna butter Adonis up! Don’t try n’ run away from this. If you’re a man, then fight back!

Tori: Blehhh! Haven’t you ever heard the saying, “a rich man never fights?” I’m not rising to your bait, Oogami-senpai; I wouldn’t wanna catch your stupid!