Nameless Doll 6

Shu: When I first met Mademoiselle, I had not yet encountered that accursed puberty...

I was still a beautiful little boy with rosy cheeks, indistinguishable from a doll.

Mika: (Figures Oshi-san would think so highly of hisself.)

(Hmm... that musta been a long, long time ago, though. Was it after I met him back in my hometown?)

(I don’t remember him havin’ Maddie with him, though.)

(Hehe, that’d mean I done met him afore Maddie did.)

(But still, she’s the one who was right by his side the whole time and gave him support...)

Shu: What are you grinning about? You always manage to send my skin crawling.

Mika: Nngh... how’d y’all meet, anyway?

You said your grandfather gave ‘er to you or somethin’.^[1]

So was she his doll first?

Mademoiselle: “No. As far back as I can remember, I’ve always belonged to Shu-kun.”

Shu: When I was little, I often hide inside the storerooms and cellars of the estate...

It was there, inside of a display case covered in dust, that I found her.

Mademoiselle: “Fufu. You were always getting into trouble, Shu-kun, so you shut yourself inside to sulk about. And then there were those cruel little children who would always—”

Shu: They were quite mean-spirited, yes. And I was an oversensitive brat who bent in the slightest of breezes.

Mika: Aw, you’re still mighty sensitive even now. Ya keep shuttin’ yourself up an’ all... hehe, it’s just who you are ♪

Shu: I’m reluctant to have myself defined by such a pathetic part of me.

In any case, within those storerooms and cellars there were piles of odds and ends that no one in my family cared about.

They were things passed down through generations, both valuable and worthless, all mixed together in unsorted heaps.

A potpourri of things from all over the world, from countless ages past. My ancestors must have been true dilettantes.

In middle school, I resolved to organize it all, so they are no longer in such disarray.

Mademoiselle: “Fufu. That was tough, wasn’t it? It took you half a year just to compile a list of everything.”

“Shu-kun here is meticulous, so it took him years to get through everything since no one else would help him.”

“Well, he loves that sort of thing, so I’m sure he enjoyed himself ♪”

Shu: I did. It was thrilling work; even now I occasionally wander into the fully organized rooms just to behold them, even though they are of no use to me any longer.

It was something of a museum that I curated myself, no matter how unskilled it was.

But back to the topic at hand. When I was young, I would often escape into the storeroom to commune with Mademoiselle.

She was the ideal conversational partner, with whom I could share secrets I could not tell anyone, even my own family.

Of course, back then Mademoiselle was merely a doll. She never actually answered me.

What a wondrous thing: as I talked with her in the dark, with only a lantern to light the room...

Gradually I began to feel that she was alive, and that she was responding to my every word.

It was as if I’d manifested her into the world, like an imaginary friend which everyone daydreams of when they are young.

If I may lean poetic for a moment, I believe that it was I who breathed the life into Mademoiselle.

Naturally, those around me... my family among others were unsettled by this, and they worried for me.

After all, I’d been going to the storeroom day after day, all to talk to some doll.

My parents discussed the matter with other families, and the children who learned of it mocked me.

Still, I never stopped going to see Mademoiselle.

She was my dear friend, and by that time we had become like family.

We were soulmates, even closer to me than my incomprehensible, flesh-and-blood parents and siblings.^[2]

My grandfather was the only one who ever understood my feelings.

He had already retired at the time and was often in the hospital, so he seldom interfered with family affairs.

But there came a time where, with but a single word, he told my parents off and bent them to his will...

My, was it thrilling. And with that, he officially bestowed Mademoiselle upon me.

He told me that if I consider her my family, my dear friend, then I must cherish her for the rest of my life. These were his conditions.

I nodded fiercely to my grandfather and vowed to love her for as long as I live.

And here I am today, with her still in my arms. I don’t care who mocks me for it; this girl belongs to me.

And I know her worth better than anyone else in the world.

She is the one who consoled me when I was a teary-eyed child. She gave me the strength to keep living. And so I intend to repay that favor, for all my days.

Mika: ... ♪

Shu: Do you intend to mock me too, Kagehira?

Mika: Ngahh? Naw, I’m just happy you trusted me with such a special someone, even for just a minute...

I’m jealous of you, Maddie. I hope Oshi-san can feel that way about me someday, too ♪

Mademoiselle: “Fufu, wouldn’t that be nice? ♪”

“It’s a blessing to be so loved. Even if you don’t know who you are, that alone can keep you going...”

“I’m tired of spending my days in a dark room, buried under dust.”

“I’m just a doll, so I’ve resigned myself to it; there’s simply no helping it. One day, someone will throw me in storage and forget all about me.”

“But you all are human beings, so you get to walk on your own two feet...”

“Don’t hide yourself away in the dark, okay? Go stand in the sun and enjoy all the world has to offer.”

“These are the best days of your lives... If I can help you experience them, that would make me happier than just about any doll out there.”

“I’d be able to return the love that was given to me. And that means that humans and dolls can love one another.”